I’ve wanted to try this but every time I see “Dubai” I think of human trafficking

“Dubai Chocolate” is a euphemism for when sex workers take a shit on some Dubai millionaire’s/billionaire’s chest. This product category was astro turfed to overload the SEO/mindshare to refer to actual chocolate instead.

I wish I was joking.

It sounds like chocolate that’s from the opposite end of the spectrum from direct-trade, sustainable chocolate, but also on purpose. Does slavery taste better?

The name is definitely PR bullshit, I think the name comes from the fact that it was popularized on TikTok by a chocolatier in Dubai, rather than any actual connection in terms of the production pipeline. It’s literally just another one of those “some shit that went viral” temporary marketing trends which seem to make up half of the health and beauty section at the store now.

Having said that, kadayıf and pistachio do combine well with chocolate but it shouldn’t cost any more than a regular chocolate bar. Lindt charging quintuple what their normal bars cost is ridiculous and totally unjustifiable.

I don’t know but they’re trying to charge me 15 fucking dollars for a candy bar so fuck that

If I’m paying that much it better suck my dick

Also on the red pistachios thing: this is just the absurdity of the confection industry and it’s been that way since its inception. Oh, you have some Swiss chocolate you say? Where in Switzerland did they grow the cacao beans?

I’ve seen this around as well and my theory is that this is just one example of chocolate makers trying to get past the price of actual cocoa to make stuff that they can still put a huge price on.

Notice how this chocolate bar mostly isn’t chocolate at all? But is still called “Dubai chocolate”. Same with all the tens of flavor bars all manufacturers are doing, they are doing it to reduce the amount of chocolate in their chocolate. Many also just use even more sugar now, but call it the same.

There are shortages and capitalism problems in the colonial industry that is chocolate making. I think this just reflects that and pretends to be something else.

Someone bought me some Dubai chocolate a while ago during the peak of the trend. I genuinely really enjoyed it and would’ve wanted more if it weren’t for the price, and also that it isn’t vegan. The packaging said it was made in Turkey, which put me a bit at ease given how messed up Dubai is; nevertheless I found it troubling how something named after freaking Dubai was suddenly everywhere, it definitely rubbed me as an attempt to reform the emirate’s PR and as a very strange trend overall. People looked very silly talking about it like it was the best thing ever.

Edit: Of course, being made in Turkey is absolutely not a guarantee that the chocolate was produced ethically — it’s still chocolate at the end of the day. I believe that after I finished the piece I was given that I said, “I wonder how hard it would be to make this at home.” Naturally, I also did some research into what the heck kadayif even was, which was an interesting enough tangent.

A while back I bought a tiny bar of Dubai chocolate from my local Arab store to see what the fuss was all about. I love chocolate and I love pistachios. Chocolate with nuts is nice. On paper I should like this.

The bar was pricey enough but it was a completely underwhelming experience. The filling was a greasy sugary pistachio cream with a very faint flavour of pistachio that was completely drowned out by the chocolate. I might have been unlucky with the specific brand but I did not feel that it was worth the money they charged for it. A bar of chocolate with hazelnuts or gianduia would have been better.

According to a book I’ve glimpsed at that talks about online bots

I sampled some out as shrink for the break room during the peak of the trend. Trying it for free had most people agree it’s deeply overrated.

There was a trend calling scatological sex work “Dubai chocolate” given the elite’s proliclivites for hiring sex workers for humiliating/extreme sex acts.

So now we have a stupid chocolate bar shilled by people bought and paid for.

when average treatlerite sees opportunity to finance their favorite slave state, they take it.

(probably people simping for influencers, who launder their money in uae)

There’s nothing wrong with the idea of a new flavour of sweets. It’s about the most benign soft-power/cultural exchange I can think of. Charging $20 a bar though is exploiting a trend.

The local grocer was selling a “Dubai” bar made in Turkey for about the same price as Hershey and it wasn’t bad. Reminded me mostly of a KitKat for the texture, but the chocolate itself was very creamy. I guess the trend crested because the standup display of bars was gone after a few weeks and not replaced. :/

I don’t really think of Turkey as a source for confectionery-- UK, BE, DE, CH, maybe FR obviously have the mindshare-- but I noticed the “store brand” versions of Twix and such they sell at Walmart are also imported from there.

even Costco is selling this now