Let’s also add more and more sodium just to break some records.
You’ve got management written all over you with ideas like that.
And salt is pretty much free and makes the package feel heavier.
Salt wasn’t heavy enough so they also went with lead.
More like “what if this cost $0.05 to produce and I sold it for $3.50”?
Don’t lynch me but… I have to confess that I liked them that way. The greasy & salty pepperoni, the stale crackers, the mushy cheese, all of it. I’m not a picky eater. You could serve me garbage and I’d say you’re a great cook.
And it beats the never ending stream of sandwiches. Pbj and co only get you through so many years.
Lunchables and dunkaroos anyday
One of my kids would love having a ham and cheese every day, and whenever I send something different, they complain. Some really like what they like.
Did he do all 12 years (or so depending where you live) with the same sandwich? That’s impressive
I’m not that old, but it’s going on for 5 years or so now. We call it a “monte cristo,” but really it’s a ham and cheese fried in egg batter w/ jam and mayo inside. I do switch it up sometimes, but not by request, only because I feel bad, and if I’m making something else for my other kids, I’ll just send the same thing with all of them. I ask what they want on weekends when I have more time to make lunch, and it’s usually the same thing (or leftover pizza or mac 'n cheese if that’s an option).
My brother did closer to that. He had chicken patty sandwiches all through high school, a lot of middle school, and probably college. He’d throw a patty into the microwave for 1-2 min, put it on bread, then go to school. I think it was PB&J most of the time before that. When he was single, he would get double stacks from Burger King instead almost every day for lunch because they cost like $1 each and there was one near work.
Some people really value simplicity and routine. I’m kind of like that, but instead of making the same thing every time, I grab whatever is easiest. That means a lot of PB (no J) sandwiches and lots of leftovers.
I feel sad just thinking about microwaving chicken patties in the morning.
Don’t worry, when he went to college, he’d microwave them on-campus.
I also loved those as a kid. I didn’t like cold cuts so they were the only ones I’d eat.
Don’t forget to add a bit of lead for seasoning
Allegedly lead tastes sweet so…
Exactly. For seasoning
No joke last night I went for a late night snack. I pulled out some hard salami, aged Swiss, and some nice crackers. I realized this bastard charcuterie was just a luxury Lunchables.
I disagree. Your hasty charcuterie was just that. And I bet it was delicious.
Lunchables, on the other hand, are the cheap charcuterie knockoff devised by people who lost their tastebuds decades ago to excessive chainsmoking and the kind of world-weary ennui specific to only the most misanthropic millionaires. Their lack of any sense of smell is only eclipsed by their tenuous grasp on what’s left of their zeal for life; a kind of self-hating spiral that not even the most debauchery-packed weekend in Vegas could ever hope to recover. No, these cretins are not people, they are the mere shadows, the faintest of pencil outlines of human beings. Lunchables are the best effort of these people attempting to emulate what they vaguely recall a meal actually is.
Pizza: When it’s good, it’s good. When it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. When it’s a Lunchable… admit it, you kept eating.
The lunchables seems like a dystopian food stuff created by a team of psychopaths.
What if we made all of the food crappy, added extra preservatives and maybe a little bit of lead?
The Romans added led to their drinks it must have been delicious or something! ~Kraft food scientists probably
At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if the meeting went like this:
“So, we sell these products by their weight, why don’t we add something heavy in there just to boost profits?”
Cold pizza can be amazing!
Pizza it’s amazing, cold pizza is still a pizza, that makes it amazing, but is still an inferior kind of amazing that hot pizza.
Morning cold pizza that you can just eat straight out of the fridge is ambrosia. It’s like a third of your problems for the day have been solved.
It helps with the hangover too!
Came here to say, now that OP made me think about it, it seems a lot of thought and hard work had to go into fucking-up cold pizza.
And full of lead.
The crazy part to me is that it’s specifically the Lunchables made for schools.
Really makes me feel like Sisco or Bon Appetit (industrial prison complex companies) are the ones producing the food, just like they do for prisons.
tbh cold pizza is fire
Breakfast of champions
As a kid though. Lunchables was the shit
I feel so attacked. I just got done eating one, and it wasn’t even name brand. To be fair I’m having to live out of a motel with only a microwave and limited money
Been there a few times. Car, too. If you can afford it, they sell hot plates/plug in coolers at Walmart. But my suggestion is a deep fryer. Not the square one, the round one. If you take the basket out, it’s essentially just a large pot. You can do anything in it you’d do in a skillet, but can also boil water or make soup. They’re invaluable in those situations. Depending on the size of the hotel mini fridge, you can normally get a thing of chicken leg quarters in it. That and some veggies and you can make a million different meals. Hit me up if you want any advice, I’ve seriously been down that road, and it’s not easy, but there are some tips and tricks that make a lot more bearable.
Thank you, this is good stuff. The fridge is pretty fucking small, and they seem to have a strict absolutely no cooking in the room rule. They have outdoor grills, but then I have to get charcoal and learn how with out ruining the food. Can’t spare any. I’m so sick of moving or I’d try to find a slightly better motel
Most places have that same rule. I just ignore it and do my best to never cook anything too fragrant. Cookint in the bathroom with the fan on helps, too. I’ve also cooked in my car, but that requires a pretty beefy inverter and uses gasoline. Might be able to get away with running a drop cord but that’s a case by case.
Man, you really make shit work. I really do appreciate all of this advice. I’ll have to put some more thought into it, but the real hope is to find a new place, so I don’t wanna invest too much. Also, the bathroom fan is broken. This place is pretty cheap lol
Had to. Lol. I’ve lived in my car and I’m hotels a few times. To be honest, car is easier if you’re alone. Cheaper, too, most days.
I really hope you find something decent
Got my partner, a 65lb dog, and 2 cats, so the car is a no go. I’m not entirely with out help, but the more I can make it stretch the better
Also living that nice limited money life? Sometimes i feel like McGyver coming up with alternative ways of doing some things.
We’re doing our best lol. If anyone has any tips for cheap microwaveable food I’m all ears
If you’ve got potatoes you just need a masher, some salt, some oil/butter, some water/milk, and a bowl. Gotta eyeball the consistency to figure out how much you need of the liquid, the rest is for taste. Cheap as hell but it’ll get you fat. Peeling is optional.
When we were broke, eggs were always a good standby. We didn’t use a microwave, but I have had microwaved eggs and they’re decent enough. https://www.foodnetwork.com/how-to/packages/food-network-essentials/how-to-cook-an-egg-in-the-microwave
You can have mug cake for dessert: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/241038/microwave-chocolate-mug-cake/
Microwave potatoes, veggies and ham with a little butter. If you add warm milk afterwards, it’s a soup.
Tortillas with cheese and whatever other topping. They get kind of weird crispy, but it’s better than a lunchable.
Wishing you the best buddy
Thank you, I appreciate that
Hand can opener and canned beans/peas. Already cooked, come in their own serving container. Just need a utensil and a can opener.
I am by no means above eating out of a can. Soup has gotten me by pretty well. Frozen dinners seem to make me hungrier. Thanks for the tip!
Anyone put the m&ms on it?
You absolute monster
Didn’t they make one where that was the point? You even had a little sachet of chocolate sauce to spread across the dough.
Yes, some of the packs contain a ‘desert’ pizza that’s m&ms and chocolate sauce
Whatever, fuck you, you’ll eat it
Back in the day, lunchables were the cool kid food. That and kid cuisine. Now, lunchables seem like what dumpster juices would taste like.
