I’m 36 and have been with my current girlfriend for almost 5 years now - my longest relationship yet. We live together & everything else couply, just not married. I see marriage as unnecessary pressure that has a tendency to put strain on the relationship. Right now if we’re happy together we stay, if we’re not we split. Simple. Marriage complicates it.

  • BastingChemina@slrpnk.net
    201·
    15 days ago

    I love being married, I met my wife 10 years ago and we got married 3 years later.

    The wedding was just with our close family and homemade food, nothing expensive.

    One big aspect of being married is that our relationship is not a question anymore. By being married we are committed to each other, it means we can make decisions accordingly.

    For example I love the house we have, but without being married I don’t think we would have bought it. The house is a lot of work, will take years of renovation and is perfect for our family currently but would not be as good for either of us separately.

    So if we were in the mindset that we could split up at any time we would have never bought this house.

    I find marriage is actually freeing.

    • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.techEnglish
      6·
      14 days ago

      I think that’s the thing. It’s just the security. Buying a house with a decades long mortgage with someone is terrifying, being married shows there’s a commitment there. I’m reading these comments and they’re all like “love is love you shouldn’t be afraid of someone walking away”, but I’ll tell you what we were looking at buying a house while debating on marriage, and I’ll tell you we both relaxed a lot when we decided to get married.

      Life throws very long term things at you that it’s very reassuring knowing you have a long term partner to be there, that they were willing to put it on the line for you and say they’re in it for the long haul with you. That if you have a child or get a mortgage or a car or anything they’ll be with you to help.

      Yes there’s the legal things there too, and the tax benefits, but for me it’s all about the constant reminder around my finger that I have more than a significant other, more than just a boy/girlfriend, but a lifelong partner.

      It truly is hard to describe to people who haven’t been married because we’ll, they’ve never felt it. I certainly didn’t know how it’d feel before.