I’m 36 and have been with my current girlfriend for almost 5 years now - my longest relationship yet. We live together & everything else couply, just not married. I see marriage as unnecessary pressure that has a tendency to put strain on the relationship. Right now if we’re happy together we stay, if we’re not we split. Simple. Marriage complicates it.
I think that’s the thing. It’s just the security. Buying a house with a decades long mortgage with someone is terrifying, being married shows there’s a commitment there. I’m reading these comments and they’re all like “love is love you shouldn’t be afraid of someone walking away”, but I’ll tell you what we were looking at buying a house while debating on marriage, and I’ll tell you we both relaxed a lot when we decided to get married.
Life throws very long term things at you that it’s very reassuring knowing you have a long term partner to be there, that they were willing to put it on the line for you and say they’re in it for the long haul with you. That if you have a child or get a mortgage or a car or anything they’ll be with you to help.
Yes there’s the legal things there too, and the tax benefits, but for me it’s all about the constant reminder around my finger that I have more than a significant other, more than just a boy/girlfriend, but a lifelong partner.
It truly is hard to describe to people who haven’t been married because we’ll, they’ve never felt it. I certainly didn’t know how it’d feel before.
Also I’m pretty sure banks give better terms to married couples vs two roommates buying a house.