• givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I’m pretty sure the people who choose to find a partner by having their parents make profiles on “matrimony websites” are doing it wrong…

    Now, I have zero experience with that tactic, but even the LinkedIn Lunatic seems to agree it’s not the best plan

    So it’s not arbitrary standards, it’s based on that person saying it’s not working.

    What’s confusing is they don’t seem to understandwhy women in 2025 aren’t attracted to that method

    Who wants to marry a guy based on an ad his mother wrote? Every woman I know would see that as a giant red flag and run for the hills. Which again, seems to be what the person who tried it also found out…

    • taladar@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      I am pretty sure the women on those sites don’t decide who to marry themselves either. It is very likely their parents too.

      • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Parent can make all the dates they want…

        Doesn’t mean she’s going to show up, or if she does that she’s going to like the guy.

        Like, irrespective of country or culture. Parents try to set up their kids, and it rarely works out except in countries where daughters are essentially property.

        If you’re referring to a country/culture where the women can’t say no…

        That’s not arranged marriages, that’s human trafficking at best.

        • morrowind@lemmy.ml
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          24 hours ago

          Like, irrespective of country or culture. Parents try to set up their kids, and it rarely works out except in countries where daughters are essentially property.

          You’re gonna need a source for this. And this is a very backwards view. Just because your patents help you find a partner doesn’t mean you don’t get a say. You may be thinking of forced marriages, which are not the same

          Older source but I assume OOP is from India, where is seems most people prefer arranged marriages at time of publishing. https://www.indiatoday.in/lifestyle/relationship/story/indians-swear-by-arranged-marriages-155274-2013-03-03

          Higher among both women and young people.

          • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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            24 hours ago

            You’re gonna need a source for this.

            You quoted four claims bruh…

            If you want a source for one thing, I can probably find it

            But I’m not doing a research paper on 3 things for you to say it’s the one thing I didn’t mention.

            You gotta be specific if you want good answers.

            Quick edit:

            where is seems most people prefer arranged marriages at time of publishing.

            Only a dozen years ago people weren’t against this!

            • morrowind@lemmy.ml
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              24 hours ago

              For this

              it rarely works out except in countries where daughters are essentially property

              • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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                23 hours ago

                I mean, how am I going to prove two subjective opinions?

                That’s an unrealistic ask. That’s like asking why the 1982 Mets was the best team in history with the world’s greatest moustaches. It might be true but any effort to prove it empirically would be an exercise in futility used only to teach someone a point.

                If you’re trying to have an argument, the smart move would be to find an example of a country where women are both legally and culturally treated as equals and arranged marriage is still something people are happy with.

                But I can’t exactly prove the Easter bunny didn’t his eggs under your pillow unless I can prove it was your sibling messing with you for a prank.

                  • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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                    22 hours ago

                    No, yours could be proven with a single example, for what you’re asking me I would have to show every single country/culture and the rates…

                    You know “logic” is an actual class you can take, there’s even online ones.

                    https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/24-241-logic-i-fall-2009/

                    Not even trying to be a dick, that’s a 100% free MIT intro to logic course. It’s one of those foundational things we stopped teaching

                    But it will get into how arguments like this can be one sided so they have to be proven from that direction.

                    Like. That’s kind of the whole deal with gravity still being a theory and not proven