Take it a little easy on that.

Unless you have adults that actively ignored or knew you had ADHD and refused to deal with it you’ve got to cut people a little slack. There’s centuries of raising kids where people forced them to conform, for good or ill. Centuries where adhd was not recognized. Centuries of sweeping mental differences under the rug. They just didn’t know.

We’re barely starting to acknowledge and accept mental health and non-normative brain wiring today, and there are still huge numbers of people that refuse to accept it, want to force conformity, or have some BS clickbait “treatment” for it.

My family is late diagnosis. It really hurt my other half because her parents knew but did nothing. She felt like years of her life were wasted because she never could stick with things that would have advanced her life in positive ways. I was an “inattentive” type that was essentially unrecognized because I wasn’t hyper. No fault of my parents because it wasn’t a thing to look for 40 odd years ago. Now I fit the diagnosis to a T. Even one of our own kids had issues that took us years to figure out even after suspicions on our part. Took the kid to local specialists and they’re all “Nah, normal but difficult kid.” Years more go by with lots of problems and we’re fed up, pay a fortune out of pocket (because insurance doesn’t cover mental treatment if it isn’t a problem) to a legit children’s specialist facility in a metro area and within a week we had a proper diagnosis, things have improved with the kid and our relationship with the kid drastically over the intervening years. Point being that, even though we tried to get a diagnosis it didn’t work, and we had to go out of our way, even if we were unsure of the issue, and spend a lot of money to figure it out. Not everyone has that kind of time, money, or stamina to sort out a difficult kid after already being told the kid is “normal”.

Sorry, WoT response, just offering a perspective.

Just to add: education and diagnosis is getting better, but there are still a lot of psychologists and psychiatrists who have little to no education on adult ADHD. They can use the diagnostic criteria meant for children and often get it wrong. You may find a provider who has updated their education, but the best chance of an accurate diagnosis is to look for somebody that specializes in diagnosing adult ADHD specifically. If the diagnosis involves a detailed history and several appointments with multiple tests, that’s a good sign. If it’s just regular 30-60 minute meetings where you talk and they say you don’t have it, get a second opinion from someone who specializes in this.

Start with your primary care doctor! I asked at my annual exam and had a list of things I had noticed I was struggling with and he saved me the hassle of a second appointment. It did help that most of my issues were inattentive based and VERY obvious from what I’ve been told.

He prescribed a non-stimulant which was also nice but if he hadn’t been my doc for a while he would’ve just given me a referral to who I needed to go to.

You see a psychologist (not a psychiatrist). And probably don’t lead with “I think I may have ADHD”. Instead have a list of things you find challenging in your daily life. Focus on these things, looking for ways to manage or mitigate those difficulties. Quite often this means developing habits to address things, such as always putting your keys/wallet/phone in a specific place.

Look at medications like using a crutch for a broken leg. It helps so you can work on strengthening where you’re weak. In ADHD terms that means developing those habits and routines to help reign in the chaos. Everyone is different when it comes to meds, which ones work, and how long you use them. Some people only take meds during the week, and are ok over the weekend. Some take meds that require being taken consistently, every day. Some people have problematic side affects, some don’t.

do I have to go to a specific place and see a specific specialist?

I am not sure where you are located, but I was able to get tested in NYC through my job. I would suggest for you to search online for ADHD testing and see what comes up, first good step.

Also I’m kinda scared of most medications and don’t really want anything too intense.

I informed my doctor I do not like the idea of taking medication, but if it would help me function better, I just have to face the music and try it out. I’ll follow up later and let you know how that goes.

If I do have ADHD it’s not like I can’t function right now so I’m unsure if I should even get tested. I just wish that I’d spend more time and effort on my hobbies.

I had the same feeling and was told I am high functioning with a mild case of ADHD. I’ll see what next steps I want to take in regards to medication once I get access to the full report.

These days I go hard on one of them for a good couple days or weeks and then not touch them again for months or longer.

are you me??? lol