Normaly i cannot read a wall of text like that without my eyes and brain jumping around the text. For some reason reading this text is perfectly fine because its exactly what my brain is already doing so it just feels natural and relaxing to read.
It’s good to hear you get help. This story just speaks volumes to how important it is to get help as early as possible and to learn to drop the mask and let go when you need to. Wish you the best.
Definitely try again. I had a stupid doctor as well and it took me way too long to change it and get proper help. I was so depressed and really bad when I finally got my shit together over 2 years later. I begged for help and told my girlfriend to please not let me slide out of this.
Let me be your push to try again, because everyone deserves help and to be taken seriously. You NEED to go again and insist. Don’t budge. Be the “worst side of yourself” and by that I mean don’t try to hide anything. There’s no reason to try and appear strong and “well functioning” towards your doctor like you are probably used to doing for everyone else. Tell your doctor about every small little detail of your life that is inhibing you, and tell about all the stupid small stuff you do that you probably barely even notice yourself, like constant fidgeting or thought processes flying crazy for no reason or whatever it might be in your case.
Let the hyperfocus consume you towards getting help😄 and I mean that in the best way possible.
I’ve been there myself and in hindsight I wish someone would have pushed me harder to go get help and insisted I should not give up…
Sounds like it could be too high a dose if you get jittery, been there at 30-40mg but 20mg + 10mg both extended release later in the day works really well for me.
Remember that the way Ritalin (methylphenidate) works is not by boosting dopamin but rather slow down dopamin uptake. You still need to create the first “spark of dopamin” yourself that then slowly snowballs itself stronger. I’d say you need to take it at least a few days to weeks to see an effect and learn how it affects you. Start at just 10 to 20mg. Otherwise try another variation of methylphenidate like concerta or medikinet.
Have you talked with a psychiatrist and gotten a diagnosis yet? That’s a good step to take towards helping yourself, but start with your own doctor of you haven’t already, and get a referral (or however it works in your country). If you have ADHD it’s often that the brain is underestimated hence stimulants work wonders for ADHD to get the brain knocked back on track. You’d probably need to try a variety of stimulants to find what works for you even within the same family of stimulants like release times and brands, small variations can make you react differently.
I wish you the best and hope you’ll find something that works. This forum is a great source of help and motivation.
Stimulants… Or lots of coffee… I mean loooots of coffee
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Hey, you are okay as you are. Thanks for sharing because that’s a really important skill to have.
You sound depressed or maybe just a moment of weaknes is flowing over you, but in any case it’s always good to talk to your doctor about it. If you don’t like your doctor get a new one. I have before stayed too long with a bad doctor and it was a revelation when I moved house and was forced to change. Having a good doctor to talk to about depression, ADHD and mental health is just so important, and a great help.
I hope you’ll feel better soon. Stay safe.
Debian. Since so many distros are based of it I always thought of it to be a stripped down, minimal and basic distro, but after daily driving for a year now in suprised how feature complete and pleasent it is out of the box with kde DE.
I love using Trello. Its cross platform. It really helps organising my work. I have a few boards for diferent types of work and it is so far the tool I’ve stuck with the longest compared to many othe apps and paper note books I’ve used. Its free tear plan is plenty for home use and you dont need the pro plan. I love how you can automate things you automatically move, create, color or delete tasks. If you need tips on how to get started let me know and I can show how I do it.
What’s on my USB stick you ask… A bunch of random shit I haven’t touched for 8 years so I have no idea what it is and it’s probably outdated, but I’d be damned if that usb stick is not In my keychain because “I might need it one day”
If only I knew that this is not normal 20 years ago I would have been a different place today. So many internal conflicting voices/thoughts and it’s fucking constant.
Here’s an idea. Use a mikrotik router board. They are super cheap and support VPN natively. I use wireguard but it should also support openVPN as well. Maybe more I’m not sure. The small hap series are super cheap and works great.
As a Dane I can approve. Looks great.
Mikrotik all the way. But prepare yourself for a nice steep learning curve, but now that om past that i sware by it. Super fast and infinity configurable. The entire router configuration can be exported as a txt file and imported in seconds so if it breaks just get a new one and load up your config and you are good to go. Also the forums are a gold mine of information. What i love the most is just how fast it is. Setting take effect instantly. Also means it is extremely fast to lock yourself out of not careful. Again, steep learning curve but really good after that.
Tbh. While Ritalin is high on this list, the single most life improving thing was to get my shit together and finally go talk to my doctor about it and get help from a psychiatrist. I begged my doctor to not just send me home and leave it up to myself to call the psychiatrist and I begged for her to force me to call back and verify I booked a time. My ADHD gives me anxiety if I break a promise so that finally did it for me by promesing to my doctor that I’ll call back when I got the help. I safeguarded the hell out of the situation also with my girlfriend because I was so desperate for help and just could not get myself to do it alone. As I got started it got easier to keep going realy quickly because I got motivated, but oh boy was the beginning it all the hardest part of everything.
Product idea: “water cooled micro SD card reader”
You just described my situation almost exactly. Huge life changer for me to get medication. My mood is so much better and my confidence in myself at work is better than ever. I can finally trust myself and my skills and push complex projects like never before because the depressive anxiety and constant stream og garbage noisy adhd thoughts isn’t holding me back anymore. I track my mood on an app every single day from 0-6 and you can se on the graph exact what day i started the medication because it went from the average hovering around 3 to now hovering around 5 which is just such a good feeling. Best of luck to you and I’m happy to hear you found help as well.
Edit, the app i use to track my mood is called daylio and works pretty good. Giving me good insight on my own mental health.
…Me avoiding responsibilities…