In my view, there are two categories of homosexuality: learned/acquired and innate. Some men have been homosexual since they were kids, like staring at their school friend and feel feelings/have a crush on. That’s a case of normal, stable homosexuality as far as I’m concerned. Now take my case, I was born straight, always had a crush on girls, always had a totally masculine identity, male engagements, and no, I’m not a Christian. I was simply born straight, but unfortunately, I had early internet access since childhood, and used to watch an overload of porn/hentai, plus early masturbation in childhood. I would spend a lot of time locked in my room using my computer, and over time, I came across pornography, got hooked, and it ended up warping my brain, starting with imagining that I was in the woman’s shoes in porn (autogynephilia), that was my first homo sexual desire. Chances are 100% that an abusive watch of porn, hentai, and early masturbation, as well as traumas of neglect and bullying, distorted me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have had any other fetishes that went hand in hand with homosexuality, like cuckolding for example. Whenever I’m horny, and I finish cumming, I regret it right away, as if I’d been possessed while jerking off. So in my opinion homosexuality is both innate and acquired. However, I’ve been looking all over the internet and only found a few cases.
my 2 cents:
none of what you’ve written here indicates you weren’t born gay.
“…wish i was in the woman’s shoes in porn (autogynephilia), that was my first homo sexual desire.”
that doesn’t sound like you were “simply born straight”
your post strongly suggests to me you have a lot to learn and accept about sexuality.
“always had a totally masculine identity, male engagements”
saying something like this indicates to me that you don’t understand the complexities of masculinity, femininity or sexuality.
did you read a lot of books as a child? is that masculine or feminine? did you climb trees?
assigning labels and expectations to your behaviors may be why you don’t view your own sexuality as “a case of normal, stable homosexuality”.
which is what it sounds like you are discovering: a case of innate normal, stable homosexuality.
Yup. Look at gay “bears” and heterosexual femboys or drag queens.