Hi, I’m 21/male from Germany and to me it seems like people here are constantly negative and complaining compared to people from other/non-Western countries who seem way more chill.
I assume this is probably the worst here in Germany since this is also a stereotype about Germans that they constantly complain about things and in my opinion this is very true from experiencing real life here every day. But I would say I’ve also noticed this from other western countries, maybe not as extreme but for example in America people also seem to be pretty hateful and seem to make a drama out of everything (at least from what I can tell on the internet).
I just wonder why these people unnecessarily spread this negativity because in my opinion here in these western 1st world countries we have so much luxury compared to other places. For example other countries have wars, people live in terror and extreme injustice/corruption, people starve to death, get abused, raped and tortured and need to seek refuge in other countries. But we complain that eggs are too expensive and that we have too many migrants, which goes so far that America is deporting all illegal migrants including those who might’ve fled from the things mentioned earlier such as violence and rape.
Why do people waste all this time with complaining and being negative if they could use this time to be grateful, enjoy life and make the world a better place? To me this seems like people are destroying their own life and make it unnecessarily harder/unhappy with that behavior. I think I’m noticing this particularly in older people including my parents. It almost feels like they’re unable to be positive and only know how to complain.
Wow the propaganda you’re consuming must be really, really effective. I can’t imagine believing that looking for ways to improve society is a “western” thing. Perhaps you need to look more closely at the news and media you are consuming and start asking yourself where potential biases or gaps in perspective could be.
Do you not think the people if Gaza are complaining right now? Or the Hong Kongers fighting for their autonomy and what’s left of their democracy? Or for that matter pretty much every country to the south east of China who is having their sovereignty infringed upon? Or within China, the Uyghurs and Tibetans and other ethnicities are being brutally repressed. Does Argentina count as western? Bcause they are talking about impeaching their recently elected Libertarian president already. What about the migrants to Qatar that are effectively indentured servants? For that matter, is Ukraine far enough east to count? Or the various other countries where Russia has been infringing upon borders, like Georgia and Kazakhstan and Moldova. I haven’t even touched upon Africa yet, but there’s another genocide happening in Sudan. India is still trying to modernize itself and get rid of the caste system.
I think this is a you problem.
What I mean is complaining about banal/small things. It’s obvious to complain if actual bad things happen such as war. Idk where you are from but here in northern Germany people constantly complain about every little thing such as the weather, grocery prices, migrants and the list goes on and on and we don’t have things like wars going on.
It’s the types of things people complain about that I don’t understand. Imo other people who have serious issues are definitely entitled to complain. But if someone has a high quality life and constantly complains about small things and thereby constantly spreads negativity it seems unnecessary to me.
I think it doesn’t cost anything if I approach a place or person and point out something positive instead of complaining that they didn’t build the building properly or whatever…
Do you honestly believe people from non-“Western” countries don’t complain about the weather?
If they did, how would you know that they do?
You also don’t know all of the battles that others are fighting. Just because you were born and live in a country that is relatively wealthy compared to other countries does not mean each individual is well-off. What might be “slightly cold” weather to you could cause debilitating joint pain for someone else. For people who live paycheck-to-paycheck, grocery prices are a huge deal. The fact that you consider them trivial speaks loudly to your privilege.
The weather thing was probably a bad example. I just mean that people are generally complaining in public and stuff about small things
And to add to it: There are always two ways of looking at things. There is the optimistic and pessimistic view. I think the Western world had an opportunity for a more positive attitude by making Kamala Harris president. But as we know that didn’t happen and at this point I think the hate has already normalized. In a way I think Trump embodies hate. Just look at his Truth Social posts and compare them to Harris’ X posts.
TL;DR: Bad Shit that overshadows My Shit happens in the world. But My Shit happens to Me, and my not liking it doesn’t in any way negate the others’ Bad Shit (which they’re also fully allowed, encouraged even, to complain about).
People complain. It’s human nature. The happiest people in the world have complaints. If you feel like you’re seeing it too much, it could very well be a symptom of where you spend your time. Taking some of your points one-by-one:
“… at least from what I can tell on the internet”
This is your biggest problem. The Internet is hardly an accurate reflection of society. Half the people on social media work hard to project what they think is a “perfect life” to others. The other half pretty much do the opposite: complain.
“… other countries have wars… we complain that eggs are too expensive…”
You ever heard the saying “all politics are local?” This, right here, is that, 100%. We can all agree that what’s going on in war zones and third-world countries trumps any thing likely to happen to us in a “these western 1st world countries,” but does that mean I’m not allowed to be upset about the things negatively affecting me, or just that I’m not allowed to voice my frustrations? “Oh, I just got fired and will probably be evicted in a couple months, but people on the other side of the world don’t have food, so I should be happy.” Me being mad at something that angers me doesn’t lessen the tragedies of the world.
“Why do people waste all this time with complaining…”
If you’ve ever dated someone, or had a really close friend, you learn that sometimes when they complain to you, they don’t expect you to fix their problem. They just need an avenue to vent. The Internet is also used pretty widely for this. They’re not “destroying their own life,” they’re venting, or actually looking for help, which is actually pretty healthy!
people from other/non-Western countries who seem way more chill.
My parents who are from PRC do complain, but just behind closed doors because complaining in public is… not a good idea
But they seem more appeciative of the US’s labor rights and the slightly less polited air than China, whereas natural born US Citizens don’t realize there are countries far worse than USA.
Here in Germany I feel like many people constantly complain in public no matter where they are
Hi, I’m 21/male from Germany and to me it seems like people here are constantly negative
Depends where you look, imho. (50+ male, from France ;))
I mean, if you mostly read negative topics, well, you will read more negative content. I don’t read those (no politics, no drama, no call to hate, no nothing like that) and I don’t have to read that much negativity.
Why do people waste all this time with complaining and being negative if they could use this time to be grateful, enjoy life and make the world a better place?
Let me ask you this: weren’t you just negative by asking that instead of, say, showing us by example how to share/read positive content and… make the world a better place? See, negativity is very easy to fall into ;)
I think I’m noticing this particularly in older people including my parents.
I think you may be noticing wrong but who knows? Once again, I’m well into my 50s and I try to see things in a positive way, no matter what’s going on. I don’t think it’s age (or sex/gender, or politics, or culinary taste)-related. It’s a personal thing.
I probably should’ve specified Germany in particular since I can relate from local experience. I have never been to France so far unfortunately. So maybe it’s mainly just Germany.
Part of having an open mind is trying to consider your personal biases and where you lack knowledge and expertise. One of the reasons you are getting negative responses is that you stated a very broad generalization that simply isn’t true. Life is not black and white, it is grey and invincible against simple explanations.
Have you ever been to Germany?
Gegenfrage: Warst du überall auf der Welt außerhalb Deutschland?
I have, but that has nothing to do with my previous comment. My friend, your original post (that you have now edited, don’t move the goalposts just because you want to fight) made broad generalizations. My comment was an attempt to help you learn how to reflect and be critical about your beliefs: I thought that might be something a user with the name “open_mind” would appreciate. Fuck me, right? Well done on showing everyone what an open mind you have. Learn how to question yourself when you feel like fighting and spreading negativity. Just because others didn’t react the way you expected doesn’t make them wrong or bad, and being a dick to someone who was trying to have a constructive conversation is spreading negativity–what you were originally complaining about.
Ironic that you’re complaining about people complaining. For an answer to your question, people complain because they have things to complain about, particularly as the world moves more right wing, and just because others have it much worse doesn’t mean you don’t have it bad.
I’m not complaining just asking nicely…
People here, at least for the last 50+ years, used to have a quite comfortable, safe lifestyle, with various state institutions taking care of shit. If anything (and may it only be a small thing) is taken away from them, or goes wrong, or cannot be sustained anymore, they start to complain that everything is breaking down.
In short: Entitlement and a tendency to nag and take everything for granted, plus inflexibility and unwillingness to change/think out of the box.
Personal humble opinion of a German.
Everyone can relate to complaining. Don’t know what to talk about with a stranger or family member? Bitch about work. The train. That driver that cut you off. Everyone relates and can gripe about their own stuff and baby, you got a
stewconversation going.IMO
But why not talk about something positive?
You’re 21, check back in a decade and you’ll see.
I hope I’m not turning hateful then. I’m trying my best to stay positive and don’t let the negativity influence me
I’d say it’s because we’re ridiculously spoiled (Canadian here).
It’s the Internet. Complaining is the second most popular Internet activity.
I mean primarily irl
I’m wondering why my post gets such negative reception here in “Ask Lemmy” but has the exact opposite perception that’s way more positive in other communities such as over at “No Stupid Question”. I wonder if there’s something about this community?
Maybe you’re not conscious of it but there is an element of:
<identifies problem> -> <adds to the problem>
It also feels like you are passive-aggressively telling everyone to just stop bitching about things you think they have no right to bitch about. You’re gate-keeping complaining, basically.
“grocery prices” … fuck, my friend, not long ago I used to be able to feed my family on $600/mo and now I’m hovering around $1k. That’s a car payment. I get it, my son, who is 26 and lives by himself, can feed himself for $100/week because he can choose the stuff that is important to him and if he chooses to eat beans and rice for a week to save money he can. Meanwhile there are 4 of us living in this home, and my autistic daughter has food issues, which means I can’t just say, “Oh the good spaghetti sauce has gone up to $8 per jar, time to buy Prego which tastes like ass but sauces your pasta.”
You can’t know the pain points in other peoples’ lives. I shouldn’t have to go around explaining to everyone about my autistic daughter to justify why I might complain about grocery prices, you know?
Before you get defensive about it, as is some folks’ ways, please understand I know you probably aren’t aware you are doing it. You’re young and you have experienced just a small slice of life. Hell, youth be damned, some folks go through their whole lives that way.
The way to deal with it isn’t to complain about it. It isn’t to judge it. It’s just to accept it, don’t engage, and move on. Maybe redirect the conversation if that’s appropriate. You aren’t asking a stupid question, you are asking a judgmental question, and you should look inward and try to stop that.
Good luck, mate. Hope this helps in some way.
Maybe it’s because your question about complaining isna complaint, and you do nothing but bitch.
Hell, I deleted a comment and you bitch about what was removed.
Sorry I don’t really understand what you mean. I was just asking what it is about this particular instance because people here seem quite hateful
Of course you don’t.
Because you’re mostly JAQing off and dismissing the answers you get.
deleted by creator
Like I said: complaining about grocery prices, complaining about migrants, complaining about the weather and basically complaining about every little thing and the list goes on and on
Hey, I deleted my comment, but seems you want to bitch.
What?
Deleted this shortly after posting it. You have such a chip on your shoulder that you had to reply.
Sorry man I don’t understand what your problem is with me but I don’t think it’s healthy to keep engaging in this conversation
I deleted a comment before you replied.
