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Thanks to my ADHD I came across as random. But it’s not “Lol, Monkey Muffin! See so random1”
It’s one thing will remind me of another, which will remind me of another, and that will remind me of another.
So let’s say someone’s talking about aliens, that makes me think of crop circles and cows, cows! Cow and Chicken, the raunchy 90’s kid’s show that really would have been on Adult Swim if that was a thing back then, oh my god Adult Swim! Aqua Teen Hunger Force, I love Master Shake… Oh God milkshakes! I really am craving some chocolate right now.
So while the other person is talking about aliens, I respond not really having heard what they’re talking about with…
“Did you know that the stereotype that women like chocolate actually has a basis in truth, you see during menstrual ramps the human body burns through its supplies of magnesium, causing the body to seek more, a common foodstuff with magnesium is chocolate. So the body is told to seek out chocolate, but the person in question is not conciously aware of the specifics. It’s rather strange isn’t it? How our random cravings are often just the cure to what’s ailing us?”
And it looks like I’m weird and not paying attention, when I am, but… to a long chain that no one else can see.
There’s one thing I feel isn’t mentioned too much in relation to ADHD that I feel like is worth sharing, from my personal experience with it’s diagnosis and trying to solve it both through medication and therapy. I’m not saying anyone else has the same situation, but it’s something worth considering since the realization helped me tremendously to deal with it.
While I do probably have a mild case of ADHD, the root of the problem wasn’t as much that, but a totally fucked up attention span and basically an addiction to spending time at a computer, which was literally 90% of what I did for most of my life ever since I started playing at Dreamcast when I was 4. It was what magnified the symptoms and made it so much worse, and it’s something that meds won’t help with. Especially for younger people who grew up with smarthphones and social networks, it may play a huge part in making their life a lot worse, and it’s pretty similar to ADHD as far as symptoms are considered. Once I started dealing with this, limiting my time with instantly gratifying things, making new hobbies outside of a computer (which was insanely hard) and learning some patience, I got way better.
If you’re dealing with ADHD, both diagnosed or undiagnosed, it’s something worth thinking about. I’m not saying your situation is the same, or that everyone’s ADHD is just bullshit and they are addicted to scrolling. Just offering my experience as a food for thought, because it’s something that helped me personally and I haven’t seen it mentioned too much.
I have a pretty good csee of ADHD and was diagnosed in 1991 when it was relatively new and didn’t have the stigma. If a date told me that, I’d walk right out. I don’t need someone who denies my illness in my life. What an insufferable prick.
Doctors be out there medicalizing people
Bro where are all these hot neurodivergent women that just want to talk at me for 2 hours straight ?(I can’t carry a conversation and like listening)
Some guys will say anything to get laid, but there’s also a chance he took Psych 101 and thinks he’s a shrink.
One of the very few advantages of being neurodivergent is it is unbelievably easy to make sure someone will never want to talk to you again. Just stop making efforts to act “normal”.
I actually love my (diagnosed) ADHD friends who talk for hours and jump from topic to topic. I love listening to people and at least they keep it entertaining.
I like the non diagnosed friends, I just wanted to make it a point, just cause people talk a lot doesn’t mean they have ADHD.
I don’t remember how to unmask. 😶
I just talk to them like I talk with my cats, albeit with a few fewer queries about if they’ve been cleaning their ass.
I mask fine sober but throw in a little weed and you’re getting a six hour lesson on black hole holography.
Never heard of black hole holography. What is that?
Black hole, son. Don’t you come.
I’m gonna come.
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How do I subscribe?
Does it involve trains in any way, shape or form?
You know it really bothers me that Train obsession is such a hallmark trait of Autism because I was (and still am a little bit) completely obsessed with trains. I had a model train layout, I had train wallpaper, I asked for train things for my birthday, all I ever talked about was all train all the time and not one single adult was ever like “hey maybe this kid who is struggling in school and has no friends and is obsessed with trains is a bit on the spectrum?”.
I turned out more or less fine but I often wonder how much pain and suffering could have been avoided, or at least contextualized, if even one adult in my life was like, “hey wait this isn’t normal for a 10 year old”.
Trains are fuckin awesome man, and I don’t know why, but goddamn do I love watching them, and hearing them and riding them.
Edit: also I am down for your dissertation on black holes, but I get to talk at you about terrible music and all the production with WAT too much enthusiasm.
Anyone who wants this kind of combo should read Peter Hamilton’s Commonwealth Saga (Pandora’s Star and Judas Unchained). Literally a society built around a train network connected with wormholes between planets.
I think I would like to hear this six hour lesson, Radioactive Butthole.
I want to hang out with you.
But I’d rather be sober so I can take notes
For me it helps to get drunk
I’m arguably more masked when drunk because drunk me knows that I say enough stupid shit even when Im sober so drunk me just decides not to talk.
Same. Though I’m mute under my mask so it’s a mixed bag.
You say that, but I remember getting into it with people in college and going back and forth straight into the AM because we couldn’t stop fueling one another.
Couldn’t get enough of that level of socialization. It’s one of the things I miss most about the university experience. Made a lot of really good long term friendships during that time, too.
Horrible for hooking up, though.
Check if you have a local makerspace or hackspace. They tend to attract a similar crowd. My local one is definitely majority neurospicy.
Oh definitely. My local DSA group has quite a few of them as well.
But it’s a different game when you’re not on campus, surrounded by people your age, spending hours a day in class surrounded by collaborative peers. If I could quit my job and spend all my time on hobbies (and everyone else could, too) I’m sure my dance card would be fuller.
Are you saying college isn’t a good place to hook up?
I will now proceed to spend the next three hours reciting a sample of the vast amount of useless information I have absorbed from Wikipedia.
yay. (TT_TT)
Is… Is this a win? Wasting 2 hours of your life in an attempt to teach a lesson to some rando you’ll never see again?
hello!
time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time.
Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time?
If you enjoy it - it’s never wasted time
Time is unwasted if you enjoyed spending waste!
Are we just saying the same thing?
Time’s fun when you’re having flies!
Cant stop giggling. Stealing this.
I stole it from somewhere myself 😁
think it was Kermit but I’m not sure 🤷
Fruit flies like a yeast
I don’t think the 2 hour ramble was an intentional attempt at teaching a lesson.
Feels more like a failure on the part of her date. A big part of active listening is keying in on things you’re interested in and leading the conversation in that direction.
People with ADHD rambling at me for an hour was what I did before podcasts.
If it was fun for you then yes (nothing wasted in that case).
She was going to be talking anyway
Isn’t the point that her actual neurological condition made it harder for her to control herself from going on a long rant, simultaneously explaining and demonstrating how his diagnosis isn’t as bad as he thinks it is?
well they deserve each other.
Both these people suck.
Yeah! Having ADHD makes you suck just as much as someone who says ignorant shit about mental health!
It’s fascinating to me how some people seem to be interpreting her ADHD behavior, which she specifically warned the date about, was somehow a punishment that she did voluntarily and not, you know, the literal thing she warned him about.
I have ADHD. He’s ignorant about mental disorders and she handled his response like a child. They both suck.
She went on the date, and did date-like things. He was warned how she be.
I’m okay with being belligerent to people who are condescending.
Um. A gold star for her, I guess.Childish behavior, but you do you I guess.
Nah
No u
sorry for the guy
Bringing that up in a conversation about struggles for neurodivergent people, not strictly true but might be appropriate as there’s something to be said there. Bringing that up when a ND person tells you their diagnosis is not ok and denying the person’s experience.
Why?
Yeah, guy dodged a bullet.
Wut? Guy saw the gun and said “that isn’t really loaded” and then went “ouch that hurt” after he’d already been shot.
I’m adding on here in case there are ignorant people who saw this and assumed she was “punishing” him this way;
I have pretty severe ADHD and I won’t notice I’ve done the thing (exhausted someone) until well after, either. She warned him, they went on the date, she did the thing (excitedly talk a lot) and then noticed she’d sucked his soul dry. This is an unfortunately normal event for us. Which is why the warning.
Elaborate?
Woe betide a woman speak
