Latest hits: if gender is performative that means itā€™s fake and patriarchy doesnā€™t exist! I donā€™t know who Judith Butler is!

  • AItoothbrush@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    41
    Ā·
    1 month ago

    Im a cis person(tho probably not the kind you meant) and i think talking about gender is pretty tiring. I think everyone has their biases and everything but you can make yourself a good person by trying to understand why you have those biasesa at least. And also gender is a prettt complex thing.

    • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      39
      arrow-down
      10
      Ā·
      1 month ago

      If youā€™re being open minded and respectful even if you donā€™t understand something (or disengaging if you canā€™t) then probably 99% of trans people, myself included, arenā€™t going to have any issue with your questions or contributions to discussions about gender

      Itā€™s the (usually cis) people who are at Gender 101 level engagement, think theyā€™re at Gender 501 level engagement, and also want to understand and learn nothing who make this so goddamn tiring šŸ„²

      • TheFriar@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        23
        arrow-down
        3
        Ā·
        1 month ago

        lol no disrespect, but you did just say ā€œbe open minded and respectfulā€ after posting a meme equating all cis people to idiot babies

        • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          14
          Ā·
          1 month ago

          Yes, you (general you) as a cis person should be open minded and respectful about trans people, because you donā€™t know shit about what itā€™s like to be trans.

          • TheFriar@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            11
            Ā·
            edit-2
            1 month ago

            Butā€¦my point was you canā€™t say ā€œbe open minded and respectful, you dumb, nothing-going-on-upstairs idiot toddler.ā€

            Do unto others, friend. Thatā€™s my point. Be respectful, donā€™t talk down to people and maybe youā€™ll be able to find that large swath of allies available to you. Because they do exist. But not if you actively repel them. Example: youā€™re in 196.blahaj and your attitude is not making you friends. Youā€™re turning one of he most sympathetic, understanding spaces against you with your attitude. Seems like that might be your problem in the bigger picture, too. Learn from that.

            • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              11
              Ā·
              edit-2
              1 month ago

              ā€œBe as respectful of my confident ignorance as you want me to be of your lived experienceā€ isnā€™t what I fuck with, not sorry.

              PS; I literally canā€™t see downvotes and donā€™t care. Downvoting me is a pacification button on your end.

              • TheFriar@lemm.ee
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                1
                Ā·
                edit-2
                1 month ago

                Iā€™mā€¦not the one downvoting you. Youā€™re entirely missing the point. And entirely mischaracterizing me. I support you. I want to see you flourish and succeed. Thatā€™s what Iā€™ve been saying. But you are shutting the door in everyoneā€™s faces and saying ā€œwhy doesnā€™t anyone want to be in this room with me?! They must be bigots!ā€ No, you have to let people support you. You canā€™t turn everyone away and then blame them for not being on your side.

                And thatā€™s not even people not being on your side! Itā€™s that they personally donā€™t like youā€”no offense. It has nothing to do with your identity. But if your perception is bent through that particular lens, then youā€™re seeing a lack of people around you, specifically, as a lack of support for trans people. And that is not whatā€™s happening.

                See what Iā€™m saying?

      • Mr_Blott@feddit.uk
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        16
        arrow-down
        2
        Ā·
        1 month ago

        Letā€™s be honest here, thatā€™s a long way of saying ā€œthe vast majority of people couldnā€™t give a shit either way how I live my life but they just really really wish Iā€™d stop talking about myself for a minuteā€ šŸ˜‚