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As a hiring manager, I see right through this bullshit, it has grown entirely too tedious at this point and it never goes past that initial review. Brevity and pointed accomplishments are so refreshingly rare, they get top billing. Consistently.
These are the ones trying to be honest who don’t know what you want. The liars already know to keep it simple, just how you like it.
Not giving my age or career away, but I’ve done hundreds and hundreds of interviews. If they snow me based on their resume, they are very unlikely to do so on their interview. I may be an outlier, but I don’t regret any of the hires I’ve made over the years as a result.
Over the weekends, I demonstrated adeptness in the strategic incorporation of vaporized botanicals for cognitive enhancement, complemented by the consummate management of nutritional intake through artisan-crafted, tuber-derived consumables.
if you want to say that you told someone else to change a light bulb you could write:
oversaw the rapid deployment of a new environmental illumination system in accordance with all existing industry health and safety regulations.
Zero safety incidents
No one’s gonna believe that, gotta make it at least a little realistic
I mean, how badly can you fuck up changing a lightbulb?
Don’t get me started on those stupid ass “open architecture” or whatever the fuck they call it with lightbulbs on a celing 40 fucking feet above a flight of stairs…
