I’m at the limit of survival, which is not ideal. By this, I mean I have no income, no financial support, and my van doesn’t start. This last bit turbocharges the first. If I can’t shower, I can’t go into an interview.

And so, my ex shows up, as she always does. She moved back to Oregon and discovered that where one is at does not assist what one wants. So she’s in Texas now, needing to be useful in some way that her increasingly shitty job cannot provide.

Which puts us on the same path for the first time since meeting 14 years ago. There was a lot of throat-clearing on the call last night before we realized we’d found our own paths to the same place. I don’t know what this means … I don’t think regaling y’all with details is particularly helpful, but she has energy I don’t to throw at my family, who’s given up on me because I see late-stage capitalism for what it is.

Given prior art that would necessitate a trigger warning, I can’t see being part of the machinery that tells us to obey.

But what’s so absurd is the person who may be my biggest exponent is also the person who crushed me and turned me into who I am. It’s like Stockholm Syndrome on steroids.

  • Chris Remington@beehaw.org
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    10 months ago

    late-stage capitalism

    I haven’t heard about this. Would you mind explaining?

    BTW, my brother lives in Portland Oregon. I was able to visit him last year and was impressed by downtown and the shore.

      • Chris Remington@beehaw.org
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        10 months ago

        About five years ago, I tried to make my way through One Pixel Wealth. It was so disheartening that it took me several months to get to the end. My mind and emotions were so taxed by the experience.

        I believe that J.R.R. Tolkien warned us, through his books, about ‘diseased dragons laying on mountains of gold’. The, roughly, 400 Americans (representing the ‘1%’) aren’t human.

        I don’t know where America is headed, but this country I live in is in despair and need of great reform.

        • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          10 months ago

          I’ve seen that before, years ago. It’s intensely depressing.

          Especially when you’ve never even made as much as the far left median income blob. I’ve maxed out at roughly half that amount over my years of employment (I’m mid 30s and never stably employed), and have never yet gotten above 45k in wages (one job had a profit share that brought me just shy of 50k, pre-tax ofc).

          I agree that we are in need of reform but frankly I don’t see that happening before revolt does. Too many people with too much of a vested interest are in charge for that to be realistic. Maybe a few “make an example” cases and that fixes things, but… realistically that’s not going to happen… a few examples are explainable…

          But anyone who might do the right thing is being threatened by those who don’t want the right thing done… look at the threats to judges for the trump thing… it’s so volatile… and who can blame them for getting the hell out before they get killed; judges aren’t soldiers.

          And I hate that. I’m tired of living through historically significant events. It’s fucking exhausting.

          I don’t really have any help for your or op’s situation directly, but comrade, we are not alone. We are in this shitshow together, and we can only do whatever it takes to survive. We can worry about thriving when we get past surviving.

          • Pete Hahnloser@beehaw.orgOP
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            10 months ago

            We had this beautiful decade wherein we didn’t have to worry about things. Which came to an abrupt close with 9/11.

            I’m not someone who believes it was an inside job, but holy shit, did it provide the opportunity to consolidate power and expand what the state does. What’s really alarming is that the party of limited government chose to turn us into a surveillance state.

            • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              10 months ago

              I grew up during that time. I was 13 on 9/11. I was victim to the propaganda. I served, and while it allowed me stability of a sort, it also broke who I thought I was, despite not doing a single thing that violated my morals.

              Fortunately, in her place is a communist.

              Eyes open.

              All we can do is bring people around. If people see the status quo as unacceptable, it will change one way or another.

          • Radiant_sir_radiant@beehaw.org
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            10 months ago

            I don’t see that happening before revolt does.

            Yes, but say you’re the one in power and you have spent the last few decades nanipulating as many people as possible into believing that you’re on their side and their enemy is actually the guy trying to raise minimum wages, tax the rich, introduce affordable health care and equal opportunities… what will that revolt look like?

          • apis@beehaw.org
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            9 months ago

            It is so disturbing to observe from afar.

            When I get despondent, which is most of the time, I make a point of reminding myself of the many Americans who have been working so hard for decades - no, since the foundation of the US - to slow the rot & to introduce beneficial reforms. Backing these are large swathes of the population, then many more besides who’ll step up in support once it really comes to it.

            So though there are profound hazards ahead, and so many people grossly harmed already, I retain a lot of faith in the American people to get through all this to forge a healthier future.

            Remember: you vastly outnumber those who have been roped into being destructive. You’re up against decades of incredibly well-funded plans to dismantle the US, but you are far more adept at avoiding emotive populism than the targets of right-wing propaganda, so your responses have much greater chance of success.

            You are a beautiful and strong people, no matter how chewed up with exhaustion and fear almost all of you are, and you will prevail. I love you all, even those who are so ruined by diseased ways of thinking that they’ve embraced violent hatred against their fellow Americans & everything that is good - they are incredibly dangerous, but victims of the beast they’re trying to catch a ride on nonetheless.

            I do think that there will be an increase in political violence and I tremble for those trapped in various regions, but I don’t think this will tip into either widespread violence, violent revolution, or civil war - the country is so huge and diverse, with too many moving parts - but I can see all kinds of groups finding no choice but to raise the entire arsenal of resistance, from work-to-rule & slowdowns through to meaningful blockades, sabotage and seizures, swaddled with hefty mutual aid, and that this will inspire tens of millions to join in.

            Remember too that many people seem wildly oblivious to… everything. Some vote Republican without paying any attention, because something something small government, cut taxes, blah blah. I don’t think these will necessarily join in on resistance along with of the rest of you once reality hits (though some will), but I don’t think they’ll stand in your way and I think they’ll swiftly distance themselves from Republicans.

            You can do this as a nation. You will win. I hate that you have to, but you will. I love you.

          • Chris Remington@beehaw.org
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            10 months ago

            …I don’t see that happening before revolt does.

            This has come to my mind many times. I have this gut feeling that a large portion of our population will just come to the end of their rope with nothing to lose. I believe that a massive civilian uprising could begin to dismantle civilization as we know it. It could get ugly here.

            • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              10 months ago

              I’ve seen the writing on the wall since occupy. I was a relatively young adult with experiences that gave me a far left mindset, so maybe I saw it too early, and was too ready for it… but I’ve seen where this train is headed and I know that the bridge has been out for years and years. And everyone in charge of the train is adding fuel to increase speed instead of trying to stop.

              That was… fuck over a decade ago? And it’s only been getting worse, at an accelerating rate, since then…

              When you strain people to the point they don’t have time to live, you take their ability (through money or pollution) to even live a healthy life, and make sure they can’t openly support what they support… revolt is the only option…

              It’s like if you looked through history and cherry picked all the conditions that led to a revolution, and then that was 100% the game plan of the oligarchs…

            • jarfil@beehaw.org
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              10 months ago

              Russia has a way to stop revolutions: vodka.
              The Tsars knew it, Stalin knew it, Putin knows it.

              Another powerful way to stop revolutions is: an UBI.
              Lenin knew it, Heinlein knew it, the Arabs know it, Norway knows it, Iran forgot it.

              Whether it will be vodka, an UBI, or rivers of blood for the US… only time will tell.

                • jarfil@beehaw.org
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                  10 months ago

                  Yup. It’s not as morally great as an actual resource redistribution, but seeing how those redistributions have worked historically (as in, not at all), it’s the next best thing in order to keep people happy enough to not revolt.

                  That is, unless religion (see Osama bin Laden: the guy had a $7M/year “stipend”, and what did he do? Instead of living his life in luxury, he went and bought himself an army, just to get himself and a lot of others killed 🤦)

    • Pete Hahnloser@beehaw.orgOP
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      10 months ago

      I’ve spent more of my adult life in Oregon than anywhere else. But not Portland. Ashland, Coos Bay, Medford. I was the news editor in Ashland 20 years ago, and I ended up at the Medford Mail-Tribune in 2014, which required the publisher getting involved because my ouster in Ashland was political.

      Late-stage capitalism follows this. It is essentially the first attempt at enshittification. What people are coming to realize is what already happened to journalism. Quality is unimportant. As such, gutting the editorial staff is business, as no one else has a press.

      Brass tacks, it’s about making sure a product or service is just convincing enough to keep an audience. So, pay less each year until you lose readers. And then stop and view that as cost of doing business.