I had two phases in my life so far. When I was a teenager and later in relationship I was pretty sexually active. After ending this relationship I needed a lot of time to come to terms with everything and I didn’t want any relationships whatsoever so I just stopped having sex. After a few months I just kinda forgot about it? At this point I didn’t have sex for like 6 years, I very rarely get horny and I do NOT want to go back. Yes, sex is fun, but man, being horny can be so fucking tiring. It can occupy your mind for hours, making it hard to focus on work, studying or anything else. It’s kinda like a drug to be honest.
Asexuality doesn’t sound bad at all to me. Well, I guess it doesn’t make relationships easier so it’s obviously a tradeoff…
Asexuality doesn’t mean not being horny unfortunately. Just that its more annoying to deal with it. Even in my mid-20s or so, I’d still get horny regularly doing things like reading math textbooks and wouldn’t be able to focus. Ironically, I remember a month that I wasn’t horny at all was because I was infatuated with a girl, but had zero sexual attraction towards her. Since I was thinking about her all day, it killed my libido.
Starting spiro at ~30yo was great, finally getting rid of a curse. Not that I don’t get turned on sometimes still, but its rarer. Also I’ve always had kinky fantasies and that hasn’t changed.
Being (aro)ace just meant growing up wondering if people were lying about experiencing sexual attraction and being confused by things like dating (that could have been solved if I just knew aroace was a thing at a younger age and that aces could still be horny).
Thanks for this info, I had no idea. To be frank I can’t really wrap my head around the fact that you can be sexually aroused without actually wanting sex.
I mean, I’m married to an asexual homoromantic woman and being lesbians and such is fantastic, but yeah, it’s purely romantic and platonic. I do love her very much.
A lot of that is just age too. From my experience, once you get past your mid 20s the constant hornyness dies down. I’m in my late 30s and I still love sex, but it’s not a need in any capacity.
I had two phases in my life so far. When I was a teenager and later in relationship I was pretty sexually active. After ending this relationship I needed a lot of time to come to terms with everything and I didn’t want any relationships whatsoever so I just stopped having sex. After a few months I just kinda forgot about it? At this point I didn’t have sex for like 6 years, I very rarely get horny and I do NOT want to go back. Yes, sex is fun, but man, being horny can be so fucking tiring. It can occupy your mind for hours, making it hard to focus on work, studying or anything else. It’s kinda like a drug to be honest.
Asexuality doesn’t sound bad at all to me. Well, I guess it doesn’t make relationships easier so it’s obviously a tradeoff…
Asexuality doesn’t mean not being horny unfortunately. Just that its more annoying to deal with it. Even in my mid-20s or so, I’d still get horny regularly doing things like reading math textbooks and wouldn’t be able to focus. Ironically, I remember a month that I wasn’t horny at all was because I was infatuated with a girl, but had zero sexual attraction towards her. Since I was thinking about her all day, it killed my libido.
Starting spiro at ~30yo was great, finally getting rid of a curse. Not that I don’t get turned on sometimes still, but its rarer. Also I’ve always had kinky fantasies and that hasn’t changed.
Being (aro)ace just meant growing up wondering if people were lying about experiencing sexual attraction and being confused by things like dating (that could have been solved if I just knew aroace was a thing at a younger age and that aces could still be horny).
Thanks for this info, I had no idea. To be frank I can’t really wrap my head around the fact that you can be sexually aroused without actually wanting sex.
I mean, I’m married to an asexual homoromantic woman and being lesbians and such is fantastic, but yeah, it’s purely romantic and platonic. I do love her very much.
Nice! In this case I wouldn’t give sex a second thought. Don’t let the society pressure you into seeing it as so important! Wish you all the best!
A lot of that is just age too. From my experience, once you get past your mid 20s the constant hornyness dies down. I’m in my late 30s and I still love sex, but it’s not a need in any capacity.
That’s what I would expect. Although I’m comparing myself to my similarly aged friends, and let me tell you, their chase of sex is not slowing down.