AHAHAHA

CAUSE THEIR MARRIAGE IS A GODDAMN FAILURE AND THEY HATE EACH OTHER

Fuck this boomer-ass humor.

Love your goddamn spouse with your whole chest or get a divorce and stop fucking about.

Human beings live for 700,000 hours, and you’re gonna spend some of them chained to someone you can’t bear to be around? Fuck that, go find someone who can’t resist you.

This is because you’ve accepted a meeting that happens at a location not in the building; for example, someone else’s PTO reminder that they’ve invited you to. Decline that invitation, and you’re fine.

I’m an author of two books, and whenever someone asks me for a copy (or even says they want to read it), I straight-up hand them a free ebook. I just want people to read me.

I usually spend my time in MahjongDS, played through Delta on my phone. However, despite it being a really good mahjong game, it’s in Japanese only.

Honestly, that one’s pretty good. Three in the back seat and one in the passenger seat and they all get to play locally-networked riichi on long road trips.

Sorry, driver, no room for a fifth.

(Source: once landed daisangen while riding bitch)

The Bar is a physical piece of furniture, a low fence or wall with a gate in it, separating the audience from the court proceedings. Becoming a lawyer is “being admitted to the Bar” so you can be on the other side of it and practice law.

Not even John Goodman could pass the Barr exam.

I think it’ll have to be the LX-III, been playing through Porgy again.

“She skewers you.”

“We’re getting skewered again? Doesn’t she, y’know, ever change this up?”

“‘Fraid not. Stabby implements of various sorts are the focus of this love story. Anyway. Skewered. You.”

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, sat down. Man came in said, “All rise.” We all stood up, and Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog. And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry, 'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American blind justice, and there wasn’t nothing he could do about it, and the judge wasn’t going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us.

And here I thought my English was pretty good, and I thought you just made this up!

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/gekker

Measuring games by weight? Neat.

gekkering

I didn’t even question that this is the verb a fox would use to laugh with.

March of the Dreadnoughts, from Final Fantasy XIII!

https://youtu.be/VZw9O0julsA?si=5CAsmLXxJLI-AmgZ

I think it’s my favorite instrumental piece of music.

Portland’s done it too. If you want plastic bags, they’re big and reusable and fairly expensive. Paper is really the only option at most places now. That said, I really wanna see the reusable cheap plastic ones banned, cause no one really reuses them.

Fuck, that’s funnier than it has any right to be, great work.

Submitting to the Journal of Useful Bullshit.

Some fancy academic website will charge us $40 to read our own work and we won’t get paid.

HOW IN THE FUCK

Yup, he’s doublethinking the suspension of disbelief again:

The cartoon was intended to be an exercise in silliness. While I have never met a cow who could make tools, I felt sure that if I did, they (the tools) would lack something in sophistication and resemble the sorry specimens shown in this cartoon.

I mean, I have never had the thought “dogs don’t visit psychiatrists,” but I also subconsciously internalize the rules of whatever world I’m suspending disbelief in. If dogs are talking and spending money in capitalism in this world, why the hell wouldn’t they also seek therapy?

And Gary seems like no matter what arbitrary world is created, he thinks about it in terms of this world we live in, seemingly an inability to suspend disbelief, and then somehow conjectures the world anyway.

This clash of concepts and reasoning amounted to Cow Tools, in the end.

This thing’s so good.

Personal favorites include Campanella 2, Magic Garden, and Attactics.