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Have you tried buying a new one?
Likely it is the French language pack.
Remove it;
Sudo rm -rf /
It’s a motivation problem. Try throwing it a pizza party.
As you added just one single exclamation mark I assume your request to be non-urgent and ignore it.
Turn it on, then turn it back off again.
Install Arch, problem solved.
Drop it in a bathtub
It works fine, your eyeballs are broken.
It’s fixes now. Bless.
Oooooo, computer says nooooo.
Install the visual c++ runtime v6
Have you tried turning it off and on again?