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It was just after 1am on a warm summer morning. My wife was told after 25 hours of labor she was going to need an emergency C-section. We were terrified as baby’s heart rate kept dropping in and out of normal range all labor and he was struggling to move down the canal.
Nurse: Dad, this is the time to get your phone out and take babies first photo!
Me: She’s not talking to me. I’m not a father. I’m not even sure what I am…
Nurse: This is it! Time to see if it’s a boy or girl!
Me: Oh it’s a boy we found out with the ultrasounds
Nurse: Are you sure? Those aren’t always accurate. You never know! Nope, definitely a boy…
My son was born and I spent the first hour of his life alone as my wife had complications after the c section. We did skin to skin, him on my chest… Cue identity crisis.
Months of not grasping the concept of how I could be a father. Why did I feel more connected to the idea of being a mother. I googled “how to know I’m trans” and came across the Gender Dysphoria Bible that smashed my egg wide open at the tender age of 29
Woah, thats… Thats quite the story! I hope you and your wife are doing alright!
We are actually! Thank you. Our marriage is stronger than ever :) years of lying to myself meant lying to my wife which put a real strain on our relationship. We both didn’t think I was going to live for more than a few years with how bad my mental health got.
Now we are strong, connected and determined to keep moving forward. ❤️
I cracked my best friend’s egg, as it was kinda obvious for years since a few months after we met, and realized I’m an egg, too. Before that I jokingly bought a skirt and stuff due to reddit memes, liked it, but just thought I was a femboy.
Currently we’re on the last day of school of graduating class and today’s Motto is gender swap. As I’m not out, that was my excuse to wear a skirt to school etc., and it does feel a lot better and more natural.
I found myself scrolling through egg_irl far more frequently then I used to just cause I related to the memes. then eventually I saw one the said cis people don’t relate to egg_irl memes and I was like oh shit. then I stayed up all night researching transitioning (every single piece of info I could find on hrt, grs, individuals experiences, etc) and the more I read the more I realized this is absolutely something I want to do
I don’t even remember, funnily enough. It was a slow process that happened over time.
Being raised in a very conservative environment, I wasn’t able to even articulate what a transgender person was until I was an adult. Before that, crossdresser was the closest thing in my vocabulary. I always knew I would rather be a woman and preferred feminine things, but after hearing, “boys don’t do that,” enough times I took a hint. When I learned more about what it means for someone to be transgender, it just clicked. “Oh, I guess I am transgender. Too bad that’s a sin™.”
Since then it has felt like I’ve spent most of my life trying to piece the egg shell back together, rather than seeing it crack. I gave up on putting the egg back together though.
