• 12 Posts
  • 1.52K Comments
Joined 2 years ago
cake
Cake day: June 26th, 2023

help-circle

  • When I 16, a thousand years ago all the way back in 2001, my neighborhood experienced a flash flood.

    My mother is bad for panicking over nothing, and we all rolled our eyes as she loaded us into the van and drove up the mountain.

    It was one of the wildest things I’ve ever seen. It looked like there were waterfalls coming out of the sky around us. If someone had told me they seen something like that before I seen it, I would’ve called them a liar. But it literally would be dry in one spot and raining just a few feet away, but not normal rain. It was literally like someone was dumping a giant bucket from the sky.

    The creek behind my house was instantly in my backyard. This happened as we were leaving.

    Later, someone came to the store at the top of the mountain where we were sitting and told my mom that they were going to have to bring boats to get people out of our neighborhood. These big, two-story houses were underwater all the way up into the second floor.

    I was so terrified, worried that all of my friends were dead. Fortunately, it didn’t take out the entire neighborhood and people were able to go up the road and take shelter in a church. Only two people died because they tried to drive through it and got sucked into the water.

    The people who didn’t take it seriously had to be rescued. We spent months with shovels digging the mud from the houses when the water went back down. The whole neighborhood pitched in. Several families left and the value of the houses tanked. People were buying them for a few thousand dollars. One man from New York swept in and bought several of them and became a slumlord. He did just enough work to make them livable for 350 a month. The neighborhood was so beautiful before that, but it was forever changed. It’s a hellscape to this day.

    Somehow we got very lucky. My house only got water in the back rooms and it wasn’t destructive. Everyone from the next house over and on down was ruined though.



  • No one is traveling on a bicycle or walking here. These roads are empty, there’s nothing there. I live in one of the most rural places in the country (United States).

    It was seriously 20 miles straight with no houses, wide road, 25 mph. In residential areas there are still 25 mph speed limits.

    On our 4 lane road, bicycles are not allowed, yet the speed limit was only 35-40.

    Where there are sidewalks, the speed limit is 25 mph. If there are buildings, 25 mph.

    Empty roads with nothing but fucking trees should not be 25 mph.

    In all of my years driving on those roads, I don’t even think I’ve ever seen a bicycle. A couple of those tiny, slow motorcycles, maybe. I guess they call them scooters


  • Everywhere in my town was 25mph until about 10 years ago.

    A local politician got a few speeding tickets and went nuts over it, now it varies from 25-60mph. Engineers were brought in to advise on safe limits.

    Him getting those tickets was one of the best things to ever happened to me. It was so miserable driving so slow on big open roads. I could probably sit down and figure up an insane amount of time I’ve saved over the last decade (if I weren’t an idiot).







  • Good God, this one hits home for me. “He’s always in his room on his cuhpyooter.” “He’s a hacker, he’s a nerd.” Ummm, no. I’m just pretending to be a girl and swapping tit pics with other dudes who are pretending to be girls and playing video games. Y’all living in the stone age with your magazines and your Nintendo. I’m in my room with every Nintendo game ever made and a new pair of tits to look at anytime I want.

    Now half of those people are fumbling around and giving scammers 200 dollars, constantly glued to their little 30 dollar smart phones and “playing on Facebook”. And of course, they be calling me to ask how to find an app they got from the play store. “It used to just go on the screen I swear.”



  • theangryseal@lemmy.worldtoGreentext@sh.itjust.worksall it takes
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    33
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    4 days ago

    Most I ever paid for a blowjob is the one I got on credit and I’m still paying for today.

    Let me tell you, even though I can’t get much action today because of the kids, she’s been worth every penny haha.

    Of course I’m joking. I’m a stay at home dad. (Which interestingly autocompleted to “stay at home mom” and I had to delete it and try again). If anyone has paid it’s been her. I can assure you I’m not worth it. Don’t know why she puts up with me.







  • I should have figured the Rick and Morty episode was a reference to something.

    Makes me think about South Park and watching it as it aired when I was a kid. There were so many things I missed because I hadn’t seen any of the source material for a lot of the jokes.

    Watching it all again 25 years later and damn, even better the second time around when you’ve seen all the shit they’re parodying.