I once drove drunk. This was long enough ago the statute of limitations has expired. I shouldn’t have done it, I was really lucky that I didn’t hurt someone or get arrested. For the next 15ish years that I still drank, my limit was 1 drink if I was driving.

This was before Uber & Lyft were a thing, but I still could’ve made arrangements with the bar manager “look dude your bartenders kept serving me when I was visibly drunk, so let me leave my car here overnight without towing it so I can take a cab home, and I won’t say shit to anyone.”

I’d always heard if you’re presenting in front of a crowd and rip a fart, say something to the effect of “I was hoping to finish with a bang, not start with one.” But I’m not sure how relevant that is for OP’s situation.

I loved my parents, but once I was on my own I was happy to live a few hours drive away.

Would be interesting to see the methodology on this, or to see how much it has changed since this was published, or to see it broken down at a county level.

Thanks for finding & sharing the original, it’s a lot less gross than the caption supplied on this post.

Any idea what the original caption was?

Apology was for people offended by an aquarium using teen slang to connect with today’s youth.

Nandor the Relentless agrees with you

I used to want one of these IR blaster things to kill tvs in waiting rooms, but then earbuds got better and cheaper and more generally useful.

I agree on both counts

Lol. I was on that site for under a month total, before the plague. All it did was get me angry all the time and I miss it like I’d miss a case of the clap.

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

Isn’t he the chomo that worked at Nickleodeon?

This looks like a table read for a Game of Thrones episode. I’m curious about which one it is.

Almost as much of an overpay as what the Browns gave Deshaun Watson

They lost the plastic key that opens the tp holder?

“What’s the twist?”

“Good luck explaining all this to the IRS without going to prison.”

“…I’m fucked.”

For comparison, Peter Dinklage is 135cm, Joe C (hype man for Kid Rock) was 114cm, and Verne Troyer was 81cm.

Any idea what show or movie this screenshot is from? Pretty sure that’s Carrie Coon but I don’t recognize the context.

No oil? No tacos? No point…