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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 6th, 2023

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  • My relation with my critical side is symbiotic as long as I am not tired ( maybe kind of like dealing with annoying people IRL :D ). If I am tired I can spiral to the state of being like I would be hurt animal - not allowing anyone near me for any reason or I will bite.

    With this job I am never tired, maybe because my critical self washes me in endorphins everytime I think how bad I had it at my previous jobs.

    My job is maintenance/updates of corporate linux packages and some minor oddball projects. I have everything set up so I can work only with linux shell, where pretty much everything is text based :) I also need to use english daily for talking with people from around the world - this is another positive aspect. I love english, it is whole separate culture for me to learn about.

    I am supposedly not earning that much when comparing to others in this career but I don’t spend much on anything. If I really want something - I will make it myself. My critical side also says that I don’t belong in this career since I am an electrician and I should appreciate it as long as it lasts and I am earning much more than I ever was.

    What kind of work do You do? From quick look at your profile you seem to be interested in linux/programming. I am kind of newish at this IT career thing but supposedly there are many programming jobs available, are these hard to find jobs?


  • I have very good imagination. I often try to use it to predict all possible situations that can occur related to problems I am trying to solve. If I don’t miss some important detail - I am usually correct at preparing for situations thanks to this.

    My internal monologue is constant and omnipresent, especially if I am alone. It is usually critical of everyone and everything. It can even make me laugh at horrible but grotesque situations, but it allows me to appreciate things and situations that many people consider purely bad because they can’t see any depth.

    I am 27, not sure if I am autistic but I can relate to a lot of people are saying in their posts/comments about that. I don’t like labeling myself because too often, I see people trying to put me in the nearest stereotype known to them.

    Things from your post I can relate to:

    My subconscious can solve entire problems for me but I can’t force it or can miss it easily. It is a subtle feeling to me. Btw. - everything is a problem or a project to me.

    My memory is horrible. The only way for me to think and not forget what are my conclusions is to write down, reread, correct, reread, reorganize written text which is better than my memory. I do remember some events which made me learn something important.

    Doing even 2 things at once is very frustrating to me.

    I can figure out social interactions if I plan them. I am still learning and getting better at it but pain of social rejection is almost physical to me.

    I have a great job now because I can do pretty much whatever I want as long as I can get it done, is text based, only mental, managers are very nice to me. My previous jobs were horrible experiences. Just mountains of misery, not only for me. The feeling of powerlessness made these even worse.

    I think that’s your whole post answered to.