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“Up to the Twentieth Century, reality was everything humans could touch, smell, see, and hear. Since the initial publication of the chart of the electromagnetic spectrum, humans have learned that what they can touch, smell, see, and hear is less than one-millionth of reality.” -Bucky Fuller

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Joined 4 months ago
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Cake day: February 26th, 2024

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  • It’s okay. Had another dream where my mom inexplicably comes back from the dead. She even joked about how we’d have to reevaluate how we think of the situation. It’s wild how going back to sleep before my alarm can just ruin the rest of my week. There’s a lump in my throat that just won’t go away. I feel guilty writing these thoughts out, hell I’m tearing up now because I know so many other people have real problems and there’s this fucking election, and my wife’s work is so much more difficult than mine and I haven’t a leg to complain upon.

    poem

    I wish

    to beat my fists against this desk

    until they are bruised and bloody

    for that is something

    I may yet control

    Thank you for allowing me to vent. Much love to you all.








  • I’d say it’s going well! The sun decided to come back out, literally and figuratively, which is great for my new plane photography hobby lol. Mother’s Day was alright, we went to my aunt and uncle’s with my dad to barbecue. First Mother’s Day without my mom, which was rough, but it’s just a celebration to capitalism more than anything, so keeping that in mind helped when seeing all the cards and flower displays at the store. I did allow myself the opportunity to feel sad by walking up to the card section and picking out the one I know I’d have gotten her (it had butterflies, which she loved).

    Thanks for letting me journal like this. It really does help to write it out, kind of like writing a letter and not sending it to anybody.

    Anyway, have some pictures. I’m getting into photography again, and I’m excited to share :)



  • This week is going well so far. Bought a new camera so I’ve been really excited to try it out. I mostly take pictures of planes, and I’m trying to experiment more with shutter speeds and aperture and yadda. I live directly under a landing pattern for the local airport, so it’s not hard for me to time a plane landing and get a decent shot.

    Here’s a Delta 717 coming in:

    As a bonus, not only am I rediscovering my adolescent love for photography, I’m getting outside more. I’ve actually met some of my neighbors doing this. And I think the anticipatory aspect of waiting for a plane to come in gives me something to look forward to as well, so that’s pretty cool.



  • Week’s going pretty well so far. I recently got back into photography, and I happen to live directly under a landing pattern for the local airport, so I’ve been trying to get decent shots of planes landing. It’s a lot of fun watching the flight radar, tracking flights, and running out to set up my camera in time. I only have a short moment before they dip behind the trees, but I’m getting there! I’m also getting some pretty good shots of the moon from my balcony. This camera’s from 2017 and is used, but it’s not bad!

    Having to prepare myself for this weekend though. CW: grief: this will be the first time we celebrate my mom’s birthday without her, and I already know it’s going to be equal parts hard, surreal, and sad. We’re going to go out and see my dad and just hang out, not really sure what the plan is. My aunt wants to release butterflies or something, which seems a bit trite and exploitative to the animals, but to be honest Bees, I’m not trying to get into that. We’re all grieving in our weird little ways. I think I’ll try and find her old camera equipment, swap this bag I’m using out for her old one.

    But enough about that. It’s good to let it out and all, but I’m not trying to dwell on that shit, so have some pictures!