Oof, sorry kid. Leaving is a backslide you don’t come back from, unless you took a California income with you.

In San Francisco?

That’s cheap as hell compared to California. And I work remote from anywhere I want. Thanks for the tip!

Thought my sarcasm was obvious.

Oh shit, trump would benefit me? Thanks for this I’m switching sides.

Because theirs isn’t actually a tree.

Pretty sure Biden has been granted the power to do whatever is necessary.

He was fine. He had enough starfish DNA to grow his head back.

Fucking bawler. Now that’s a true American.

Do whatever’s needed to increase affordability except anything that will reduce the value of my house.

That’s basically the two sides.

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Had to look up red pill. You’re probably a creep if you’re in those forums.

Yeah shit, I really didn’t mean for the moral of my story to be prey on vulnerable women. But that is kinda why it worked for me isn’t it. But she did walk in alone, and I did pounce.

I was really just trying to give advice to anyone struggling. Just be at the place, have shit going on, be confident and charismatic.

It’s really not hard.

It’s true. My last 5e character was a half aquatic elf, rogue warlock. He was a pirate, so think Cervantes from Soul Calibur.

I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make here on my comment making fun of America.

Oh, but I’m actually a nerdy dnd playing programmer.

Thanks! Our son just turned 3!

What’s not?

The Mighty Monarch.

I met my wife at a bar. We’ve been married 4 years now.

She walked in alone, looking beautiful. Made up, red lipstick, hot dress.

I was shooting pool in the back with some friends before we head to our friends dj set. She sat down in the front, nearly by the door. I handed my cue off to someone and said shoot for me, I need to take care of something.

As I walk towards her, I can see every other single dude, and the not single dudes, and a couple of ladies eyeballing her. I walked with such momentum that anyone considering trying to make the move had already yielded. I walked with such confidence they probably thought I was already with her.

I sit next to her and start chatting. Ask if I can buy her a drink. Introduce myself. Ask what she’s up to. Turns out she’s trying to go dancing. She was supposed to meet a friend who was running late, but the dance club accross the street they were going to had closed suddenly a few days prior.

It just so happened that my buddy was DJing the best, sold out, ballroom dance party that night. And I was on the list.

We have a few drinks and chat, convince her to come with us if she’s trying to dance. She gets in the Uber with some of my other friends I was shooting pool with and I. The friends there and candid vibe set her at ease, it is a little crazy to jump in a Uber with someone you met 30 minutes ago after all.

I get to look so cool when I tell the bouncer I’m on the list, but there must be a mistake I should be listed for a +1 too. No problem, we both get in. It’s litterally the best dance party I’ve been too. We dance, make out, the rest is history.