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  • 4 Posts
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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: May 14th, 2024

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  • If your partner does some secret government funded stuff, then it’s probably better you know nothing about it. Obviously, there could be a cover story about working with tax calculations or something boring like that, but does that count? You would kinda know about the fake job but not about the terminator robot research.

    Then again, your partner could also be a psychopath mafia boss and a drug lord who keeps everything secret… might be safer if you don’t know. Or you might want to know so that you can run away. It’s complicated. Would you even survive if you found out? Better not ask.

    With normal people though, it’s common to have a pretty good idea about what your partner does for a living. How many people never talk about work stuff at home? Sounds pretty strange to me.



  • There’s also a psychological trap. It doesn’t make falling for it acceptable, but it does make it more understandable.

    Humans naturally seek belonging, and almost any group can fulfill that need. Many such groups also use “us vs. them” rhetoric, which can make you feel more special than you actually are. Feeling special is another human need that groups often fulfill. Humans crave direction and purpose, and most groups provide both.

    Just look at religious groups, environmentalists, political ideologies, conspiracy nuts and racist to see what I mean.


  • You’re on Hexbear. There’s your problem.

    I suggest creating another account on some other instance. Start with Lemmyverse to find a nice one. Once you find an interesting instance, check Fediseer for more details. Click the little (i) next to the instance name in the Lemmyverse results, and navigate to Fediseer endorsements. If the instance has been endorsed, censored or whatever, this is the place where you’ll find some info about it.

    For example, here’s what it says about Hexbear. As you can see in the “censures received” section, that list is pretty long. BTW all the biggest instances attract attention, so disagreement and conflict naturally follow. However, the way the instance is run plays a role too. If you want to access more communities, make an account on one of the less conspicuous instances that hasn’t been blocked by others.





  • Can’t help you with the relationships, but I can help you with long posts and online stuff. Yes, I know, the irony is getting real thick here… LOL

    Wall of text

    When a complex idea manifests as a wall of text, dump the early draft to an LLM, and tell it to squeeze it into a tighter package. Tell it to delete the unnecessary ramblings and repetitions while keeping the core message intact. Before LLMs, I had to manually tidy up my posts and long comments, but nowadays LLMs can handle that sort of stuff for you.

    BTW I totally agree that screens tend to be too interesting to humans, so here are a few ideas to help with that.

    Be intentional

    Make a habit of making your interactions with digital technology more intentional.

    This philosophy applies to mobile apps too. Instead of starting an app by tapping an icon on the home screen, use the search feature on your phone to type the name of the app and launch it that way. Muscle memory tends to lead to starting apps even when you don’t really intend to, but using the search as a means to starting apps adds a layer of friction between you and wasting your time on brainrot. This method works best when your home screen doesn’t have any interesting apps to distract you. Put only boring apps in there or make it entirely empty if you want to go full detox. Having a really nice wallpaper helps with that.

    Watch videos on your computer, not your phone or tablet. Uninstall the YT app from everything, and use it on a browser instead. This adds a little more friction, making it harder to mindlessly watch videos. When you do watch them, it’s deliberate instead of accidental.

    Limit exposure

    Limit your online exposure by using whitelists instead of blacklists. On YouTube, you can do this by ignoring main feed and sticking to your subscriptions. BTW, the PocketTube browser extension makes this even nicer, but is it useful to make the experience that nice though? If not, disable uBlock Origin, SponsorBlock and PocketTube to speed up the detox process. You’ll end up hating YT so much that watching paint dry will become surprisingly appealing. Maybe that’s a bit hard-core… Better start with smaller steps and try full detox later.

    Anyway, the same approach works for Lemmy too. Subscribe to the stuff you really care about, and ignore the rest. This way, you’ll be exposed to less Internet overall, and the part you do see is more likely to be worth your time. As a result, you’ll run out of top-tier material rather quickly, and the internet becomes boring to you. As soon as you get bored, take your eyes off the screen. Look out the window. Take a deep breath. Let your mind wander, and you might suddenly remember you still need to take out the trash (or whatever task you’ve been putting off).

    Edit: I wasn’t happy with the initial version, so I let an LLM suggest minor tweaks. Only some of them were included.