First of all, I will not suffer the name of Settra be uttered (except in expressing his exalted unservingness) without appending his rightfully earned titles of Great King, the Imperishable, Khemrikhara, The Great King of Nehekhara, King of Kings, Gentle Opener of the Eggs, Wielder of the Divine Flame, Punisher of Transphobes, The Great Unifier, Sacred of Appearance, Bringer of T and E, Father of Hawks, Builder of Geocities, Protector of the Two Worlds, Keeper of the Hours, Chosen of Ptra, The Undisputed, Begetter of the Begat, Scourge of the Phobic, Catboy-feeder, Defender of Boymoders, Rider of the Sacred Chariot, Vanquisher of TERVes, Champion of the Hot Topic, Mighty Lion of the Infinite Desert, Great Hawk Of The Heavens, Arch-Sultan of Breakcore, Waker of the Hierotitan, Monarch of the Sky, Majestic Emperor of the Shifting Sands, Boykisser, Builder of the Great Bass Pro Shop, Terror of the Transphobes, Master of the Never-Ending Horizon, Master of the Necropolises, Giver of Hormones, Bearer of Brisket’s Holy Blåhaj, The Great, Chaser of Nightmares, Keeper of the Royal Herat, Founder of the :3 Cult, He Who Holds the 2019 Ulthuan No-fly List, Banisher of J. K. Rowling, High Lord Admiral of the Deathfleets, Granter of Passage to All, Tamer of the Lich King, Unliving Jackal Lord, Dismisser of the False Allies, He Who Does Not Serve, Phobe Purger, Speedrunner of the Great Game, Liberator of Love, Breaker of Binaries, Lord Sand, Wrangler of Scorpions, Emperor of the Town Inside Me, Eternal Sovereign of Khemri’s Legions, Seneschal of the Great Sandy Desert, Inflictor of the Curse of Ptra (Scarab Rot) upon Transmedicalists, Regent of the Eastern Mountains, Warden of the Eternal Necropolis, Herald of all Heralds, God-Tamer, Master of the Mortis River, Guardian of the Mascs, Great Keeper of the Obelisks, Summoner of Sandstorms, Master of all Necrotects, Prince of de_dust2, Killer of the False God’s Champions, Golden Bone Lord, Avenger of the Dead, Keeper of the T, Q and More in LGBTQ+… and many, many more…

Secondly, though there is nothing official regarding his stance on transphobia, I doubt one so wise, so mighty, such an exalted being as the God-Tamer would suffer such wretched injustice within his eternally just domain, which stretches across all horizons, beyond the river that separates life and death, and even into the endless light of the sun, whose chariot he pulls across the sky with each pasaing dawn.

Oh god oh fuck they have human tools

This is absurd. Ridiculous, even. Settra does not serve transphobes.

Ah, good ol’ MEMRI. Mossad’s funniest racist propaganda outlet.

Good.

any wider and she’d fit right in with the cast of Hidamari Sketch

Mystery? What mystery? Polonium keeps the samovar hot, everyone knows this. They were energy conscious patriots trying something new so the boys on the frontline could keep themselves warm using the wood and coal that otherwise would have burnt to warm their tea. Patriarch bless these fine folks who died in the pursuit of keeping our selfless heroes cozy in the trenches.

I still sometimes wonder what the Priggler thought was going to happen when he stood down. Did he really not think he was going to be defenestrated like literally everyone else who was slightly critical of Putin?

Formerly Chucksville.

Yes, they are. Source: scientific consensus.

Consider the following phylogeny of the primates: If we choose to exclude all non-simian primates from monkeyhood, you still cannot create a scientifically valid monophyletic grouping of monkeys that doesn’t include the apes (hominoidae) without excluding the new world monkeys (platyrrhini). This is because the two main groups of monkeys, the platyrrhini and the catarrhini, split before the catarrhine simians split between the tailless old world monkeys (hominoidae) and the tailed old world monkeys (cercopithecoidae). If you told any primatologist, any biologist in general, any person on the street even, that howler monkeys and spider monkeys are not actually monkeys, you would rightly face raucous laughter and bemused derision. At this point, we have to address the elephant in the room that is the arbitrary delineation between monkey and ape based on tailedness. If we are to divide the apes from the monkeys solely on the basis of appearance, then why not cleave the hyraxes from their elephant and manatee cousins and graft them onto the rodents they so closely resemble? Why not call tuataras lizards while denying snakes the same title? Why not just call dolphins a kind of shark, since they’re both sharkish in shape and lack the scales of other fish? Why not just say birds aren’t dinosaurs because they don’t look like a brontosaurus? Because it’s unscientific derangement, that’s why. Paraphyletic groupings based on arbitrary physical markers is as against scientific consensus as it gets.

I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROOOACHING

holy shit, it’s morter from rick and morter

Cladistically speaking, apes are in fact monkeys. Tail or no, you cannot create a phylogeny which includes all monkeys while excluding apes.

I’m sorry carnotaurus lovers, no hate to the OG, but this is abelisaurid perfection, nothing comes close to this top-of-the-heap homegrown theropod from the cultural center of earth, Madagascar. Nothing can match them. You know why Majungasaurus was a cannibal? Because no other animal comes close to being this good. There’s a reason the KT extinction event happened right after this guy disappeared; God himself, in the heavens, realized nothing could possibly evolve to be better than Majungasaurus, it doesn’t get better than this, so might as well pull the plug and save us all the effort.

here comes another chinese earthquake

Can we follow that logic to assume they had Who vikings, going around Whourope Seussically pillaging Whonasteries and Whollages and whimsically blood eagling Who peasants?