Totally unrealistic… he would have just taken the baskets from the kids, then sent them to an El Salvador death camp.

The real shitpost is always in the shitpost.

Aight so what the fuck, for the first half of that video I could have sworn you nailed it, but I remember it being more than just bugs, so something seemed off. BUT! Related videos had the fucking thing!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FxyNP6SLsI

…never realized just how much marketing went into glamorizing ‘ick’ to little dudes lol.

…does anyone else remember that kit that was kind of the easy-bake-oven but marketed to little boys; it was this mad scientist kinda thing around when Goosebumps was popular, and you’d make your own candies by mixing little packets together, then mold them into spiders and brains and shit like that.

The brain stuff in particular was this fruity foamy gunk that I swear was the best tasting junk food that has ever or will ever hit the market. I was also probably like 5 y/o, so grain of salt.

land of the free

That was actually a typo from day 1 - it was supposed to say “fee”. You can understand why people are frustrated over the misunderstanding.

No one expects the US inquisition. Wait, yes they do. Nevermind, don’t get to make those jokes anymore.

The US doesn’t inquire anymore: we’ve reached the “straight to the death camp” part of our transition to nazism.

Who is Delores Umbrige in the current Trump cabinet, Marjorie Taylor Greene?

Elon, 100%. Take the wands out of the picture, and rename “Ministry of Magic” to “United States Government” and suddenly that chunk of the Harry Potter story is just a documentary about DOGE.

There are definitely risks, hence the infection warning at the end there. Mechanically speaking, it’s pretty simple… think of like a pump action squirt gun ‘super soaker’ or w/e from when you were a kid, except the end of the gun loops back into the tank it pulls from: so you push the mechanism to build up pressure, then pull the trigger to release that pressure.

Instead of pump it’s a button over a one way valve that’s on the reservoir that hangs out in your scrotum like a 3rd testicle. That’s filled with a few mL’s of saline, and when you press the button it squirts the saline into prosthetic balloons that match the shape of your corpora cavernosa - the two chambers that run the length of your shaft that normally fill with blood to enable fun times. Anyway, push the button until it’s hard, engage in fun times, then push another button that’s basically just another one way valve to release all the saline back into the reservoir. Everything is internal - you feel the buttons through the skin of your scrotum.

There are pictures (animated - nothing gory or anything… it does depict a penis and this is a sfw thread, so I won’t direct-post it here, but it’s about as sfw as a picture of a penis can be… high-school health class textbook type of image) in the link I posted down toward the bottom of the page if you’re curious.

I always thought it was kinda cool - we can restore a pretty significant part of someone’s life with just a couple balloons, tubes, and some saline, and it’s not like most prosthetics where we’re replacing something (i.e., total knee replacement uses a prosthetic femoral head and tibial plateau, but before we can place those, we break out a powered saw, and things like a hammer and chisel to cut out the original femoral head and tibial plateau… it’s gory as fuck). The penile prosthesis just kinda sits in space that the body already provides.

Storming Sour Patch Kids Factory

Honestly that’s the only part that gave it away.

So, if your doc hasn’t already discussed stuff like this with you, you’ve got a shitty doc. But, 100% there are treatments for that.

I’m a surgical tech, so my brain always jumps straight to the surgical option - there are probably things to try first, but just in case nothing else works and your vasculature really insists on being a… well, dick; there are still options:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/penile-implants/about/pac-20384916

I’ve been in a few of those surgeries, and it’s literally just putting a balloon in the chambers that usually fill with blood to produce an erection. You fill the balloon manually from an internal reservoir when to get it up; then release the pressure back into the reservoir when you’re all done.

In any case, sexual health is part of health: don’t let social anxiety or fear of awkward or anything like that get in the way.

And if you go the surgical route, FOLLOW YOU PRE AND POST OP INSTRUCTIONS TO THE T!!! I’ve also done a revision of one of those implants cuz our patient didn’t keep himself clean during the immediate post op period, and got an infection that is the stuff of nightmares. Definitely don’t be that guy.

What about the pilots tho

OOH and another idea:

Just add an imprint of a cock and balls. This actually kills two birds with one stone:

1. The tit depicted on the flag is biologically male, which according to republicans is all that matters. Since male tits are a-okay, problem solved.

2. Virginia will be the first state to officially represent the trans community in their flag!! This would be a truly historic moment for a community that really needs some more representation in our government!

This gave me an idea

So risqué

In unrelated news, the graphics for the Switch 2 are fucking incredible - look at this shit! This is wild!

This seems to happen way more often than actually eating the onion, cuz reality is more ridiculous than most of what they put out.

Puking an onion? Idk what to call it.

I’m not gonna go learn how to draw well just so I can shitpost.

Who said you need to draw well to shitpost??

^ still better than AI