The stuff on reddit can get wild. Or it could. I don’t browse there anymore, since the events of last year.

Yeah they just had to kill the third-party clients and set their platform on fire. Well not “they”, we all know who is at fault, but this is not that kind of post and we’re not turning it into one.

If only there was some way of maybe scheduling a headless browser to steal all the juicy stuff that might be left without providing any more value to the platform… if only. 😇

I don’t want people to feel that I’m pushing sexual stuff on them, and I don’t want kids to come across it. So that’s why I made the censored version.

Probably a good call, though sexuality is definitely part of a healthy life (no offence, asexual peeps) and that means there should be a place for that kind of engagement.

Speaking of ridiculous US things… yeah, you got the perfect mix of absolute bullshit there. Really makes me think about my frame of reference sometimes. If you’re willing enough, maybe just bite the bullet and help them set up matrix/signal? The privacy benefits alone should be enough to convince them, let alone that it’s a more versatile solution than facebook as a front-end for your community.

And I’m still super nervous about going out fully fem.

Yeah, the world at large is not a cosy place. There will be a point in time or a geographical location where you’re comfortable with it, I’m sure.

“It’d be weird at first.” which isn’t a good reason.

It’s reason enough to feel anxious, maybe not reason enough to just accept and let it stop you from doing something in your own interest. You might just be afraid of people thinking differently of you, even though they won’t show it. Which is perfectly reasonable. What you have going for you is that if you did go there, you always the option of never coming back again if you get a negative result. That will definitively shift your focus towards finding new people to connect with.

Definitely Bale. Oh the memes…

[does the voice]
“Swear to me!”

Very early interactions with other children. Pretty much always being one of the girls, and taking part in activities mostly done by girls while not all that interested in the traditional guy activities.

The school had these horizontal bars my girl friends and I would twirl around endlessly. Did a lot of roleplaying with this same group of friends, including classic ‘damsel in distress’ scenarios, which I related to in particular. Had a crush on one of these girls, and it turns out she fought her best friend over my attention. Cue the 9-year old first relationship experience. We managed to keep it going for a year and a half until she wanted to french kiss me and I chickened out. Worst mistake of my life. 😅

The both of us were real big Tomb Raider fans back then, which was probably my first time experiencing the “be, or be with” confusion. We both had a pretty good claim at the “being” part, since we were both really into gymnastics and pretty bad ass people overall (at least as much as a 9-year old has any right to be). Naturally this would become a problem for roleplaying purposes, which I understood, so I was content being Indiana Jones instead. Looking back at those times something was definitely off there.

Then there’s the mostly relating to female characters part in general, which never really stopped. And today I just consider this part of who I am. I have female role models, deal with it!

I have been refered to with the feminine variant of my name by a girl friend from next door when I was a kid. Made me wonder if she actually knew my name, no confusion at all at being “misgendered” there. Turns out, she was onto something. Currently debating using both forms of my name interchangably to see what it’s like.

Had a first real crossdressing experience when I was about 13 years old, which was for a school play. Probably enjoyed being dolled up with the help of classmates way more than the average cis male should. Once again, hindsight is 20/20.

Most of the stronger signs are a recent thing though, and I see daily life in a different light now. It’s actually kinda fun going out in public and looking at women around my age because the confusing part is over. I can now just look at women and either crush on them, envy them or both at the same time (which is unexpectedly thrilling). I guess it’s similar to the experience a bisexual friend of mine described after coming out. “There’s no more pressure, I can just look at others and enjoy, instead of feeling confused”.

I’m kind of in a mental state where being trans is probably a good fit for me, but I’m trying to figure out more before committing to any coming out or transitioning. So I expect to keep experimenting to get a grip on who I want to be. In the mean time it’s posting here as an outlet and figuring out what I can get away with in my appearance in daily life without having to explain what’s going on.

Not sure if you saw the meme though.

Yeah I definitely saw the meme alright. From within my little bubble… while riding public transport. I had to contain my laughter so hard it hurt. The censorship just made it even better. Also definitely a mood I’m not unfamiliar with.

I really want to have girl and trans girl friends irl. I want to be around fem people that can maybe help me with girl stuff like fashion, and trans girl stuff like passing. So in the hypothetical, I’d probably want trans girl friends first.

Yeah I definitely get that. I feel like making trans girl friends is the safest way to get into that stuff because at the very least you’re sure they won’t have a wildly unpredictable reaction to the “hey, BTW I’m trans” revelation (depending on where you are with respect to transitioning of course). I definitely feel like I could use some real life trans girl friends, even if it were just to express myself more freely like I do on here. The big issue is actually finding them when you’re not ready to commit to something like going to local support groups.

So sorry to hear about your social circle breaking down. Sounds like it is for the best though, and I’m willing to bet any new friends you’ll gain will probably be better for you in the long run. I’ve been through a similar situation where I’ve pretty much not retained any friendships growing up. Every friend I’ve made since has been great so far, even though I still don’t maintain many friendships. Bottom line is there’s always hope, just gotta find the right people.

I do admit, the title is actually kinda clickbaity in hindsight. Probably could’ve done better.

You really need to see Her if you haven’t yet. Like seriously.

Went to IMDB to look it up and the front page featured a spotlight of the new Joker movie (starring… you guessed it!). Movie seems interesting, definitely going to watch sometime soon!

• Sexuality: Yes lol.

Sometimes less is more. xD

I could use some girl friends irl, or just friends in general.

Yeah, no harm in making some friends. Issue is just “where do you start?”, dream is to be magically adopted into a nice friend group, but things just don’t work like that usually. Or at least they don’t when you’re sober.

Hypothetically, if you had unlimited options with infinite success rates, what kind of friends would you add to your social circle first? Girl friends, guy friends, trans friends, enby friends, neurodivergent friends, nerd friends, or any other brand of friends I haven’t listed?

Would definitely offer you my friendship application! If you feel like chatting, DM me and I’ll send you my matrix details.

Nah, society is just a bunch of idiots smashing rocks together, and we all stare at the ones with the biggest or the shiniest rocks. That does not mean your enjoyment of playing with sticks is invalid.

And this is in no way an attempt to put people into discrete boxes. The body might fit for most, but then there’s the pesky tail that sticks out. It’s those quirks that make us unique that I’m after here, and testing the limits of your model is one way to do it.

The beauy of n-dimensional space is that you can just add dimensions if you feel like you’re being projected into lower-dimensional space and details get lost in translation.

But there’s also the thing where the act of taking a measurement affects the thing being measured, so “n-ball of uncertainty” is perfectly fine!

“Wait, do you mean literally, or figuratively?”

Yes.

More bitches? We definitely have a problem!

How does that work if you’ve only been a hot girl for half of your life? Asking for a friend of course.

As a model for infinitely unique human characteristics that can be plotted along several different dimensions, the vector representation makes a lot of sense.

But as with anything that models reality, some of the nuance is lost because we can’t feasibly infinitely detail the model for it to still be a useful representation.

So no, you’re not crazy for framing gender as a vector space, you’re just a huge nerd. 😇

(Edit: Now complete the assignment! [glares at you from a distance])

Hi Bitches, I’m the problem…? Wait…

Probably not the person you might want answering this, but I’ll share my two cents anyway:

I believe men are somehow shit outta luck if not conforming to the strong, tall, muscular, athletic and handsome ideal that seems to be peak masculinity. Although there seems to be an improvement on that front. Further normalising the androgynous look is going to help a lot of transmasc people feel less anxiety about passing. Not in the least because some of these aspects about the general beauty standard for men are unrealistic, even for cis men.

As for me, I’m more than happy to contribute to normalise the androgynous look. I’ve never been happier with my appearance than since I’ve been experimenting with incorporating more feminine traits. Growing my hair out, getting a more feminine haircut, dyeing my hair, braiding my hair, removing body hair, styling eyebrows, that sort of thing. Oh, and most important of all, just doing all of this while never elaborating on it. It’s always just “hey this is my new thing, I will not be taking questions on this”.

I feel like men should not be denied those sorts of thing while still being considered men. And all of us should be free to pursue our own beauty standards. Now to make society submit to those truths…

you’re right btw about romania being hostile to queer ppl, mostly the older folk

Most eastern European countries follow the same blueprint of the elderly being exremely conservative. The youngsters are usually damaged in a way where they are more tolerant, but have some weird homo-/transphobic tendencies. And then there’s people like you who are just trying to live their lives the way they feel they should. Never give up on that!

Now I don’t presume to know what kind of relationship you have with your parents. But judging from some of the stories I’ve seen on this community alone, taking away hormones is probably not even close to the most damaging thing your parents could do to you. So I might be blowing things way out of proportion here, but just in case: Be absolutely sure they’re not going to kick you out to the streets or otherwise put you in danger before you’re in a position where you being a minor no longer impacts your life.

Also don’t underestimate what the hormones will do to your body. Two whole years is a lot of time for changes to take effect, including things you might not be able to hide as easily. Two years is a long time to keep a secret from your immediate family, and there are probably going to be moments where simply “boymoding” is not going to cut it.

Then there’s the leaving the country part, which is likely not going to be a magic solution either. The good news is that you have two years to research everything you need to know in order to find some safety in your life. And I hate to say it, but financial security is going to be a big part of that, as it allows you more freedom to avoid places that are regretably not safe for trans folk. The harsh reality is that this becomes exponentially easier if you’re either talented or highly educated, since most of the safer countries will more readily hand out work visa to those more beneficial to the local economy and job market.

Don’t get the wrong idea, definitely not trying to talk you out of your plans! Just trying to make sure you’re several steps ahead and have planned for all sorts of situations. So the common denominator in all of this is “make sure you’re prepared and keep planning ahead”.

Other than that I wish you all the best, and good luck on your journey.

Not questioning your decisions, but it sounds like you’re doing this solo, and likely without parents knowing about it. If that’s the case, you might want to think ahead to what will happen if someone does find out.

If you’re not in a position where you can trust an adult enough to tell them you’re transitioning (for whatever reason that may be), you’re likely not going to have a safety net when you do transition. Please think over who might support you in your efforts to become the person you want to be. Especially in a country like Romania, where anything LGBTQ+ is under increasing stress from bigots.

So no, you’re not being stupid for asking for help online, but please make sure you know if you can trust anyone from your personal surroundings going forward.

Hey at least they hit with the “you will regret this”, so the receiver knows in advance there’s not going to be an end to the words to come.

Oh I like that one better!

I swear I’m a good girl…

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father Ephesians 3:14

Lot’s of fun yet to be had taking other passages out of context.

Yes, definitely need more of these! I’ll try make some if inspiration hits.

First thought is that trans women who are attracted to men can rest easy knowing cis men are at the very least interested in trans content.

Second thought is that those numbers for everyone on the masculine side of things are lower than expected. Like way lower.

The unsure/questioning category might be hiding some with either a bluish or pinkish hue. Though I fully understand there’s a limit to splitting this one into “questioning fem”, “questioning masc”, “questioning nbin”, “questioning fluid”, etc. This is where you bring in the multi-question form where you first establish if someone is sure, then ask them about their identity (or the one they’re questioning).

Statistically speaking, this is where you start asking yourself if your data is reliable enough to draw any kind of conclusions from. Which it probably isn’t. The only reliable conclusions (that you would likely also see if you did a n=10k study) I could probably draw from these results are these:

• The survey has reached a lot of cis men, which probably means cis men are more interested in trans content in general than one might think.
• Anything feminine outnumbers anything masculine, at least for this platform.

Bonus thought: I love that strawpoll actually takes data visualization seriously and presents both a properly formatted pie chart and a bar graph. For anyone wondering: A properly formatted pie chart starts at 12 o’clock, is sorted highest to lowest and does not use any fancy 3D effects. Any other visualization relies on labeled percentages to inform the viewer. And if those are absent, you just have to judge which slice is bigger. Visualizing the data the way Strawpoll does here makes absolutely sure no one can misinterpret the results.

Yeah “there are no girls on the internet” kinda thing. Joking aside though, keep in mind that n=370 and sampling from c/Trans probably doesn’t give significant results for the fediverse as a whole. Though it is an interesting result.