You need to sort out your morals, religion, and philosophy.
You said you believe being trans is wrong, yet support your lgbt friends. You believe being trans is wrong, yet you are trans? Friend, you need to fix yo shit and start putting that religion bigot nonsense to rest. Find god a different way, realize your understanding was wrong, whatever you gotta do. But you need to settle those conflicts. Have a conversation with yourself or something, do it aloud or online or something, because believing your existence is wrong is a really dark and stupid path.
And before you fear what you may find: yes, you may realize that a lot of the people you know and the world are really fucked up and seriously stupid.
But remember: lgbt people have messy lives for a reason and it’s not by their choice, and you are never wrong for existing as your authentic self.
Cpa worked good but made me depressed and suicidal so i switched. Spiro worked fine but smells weird and you should avoid potassium iirc. Never took bica before i went on monotherapy.
Drink more water if you have to continue being an alcoholic. For every beer or “drink”'s worth of alcohol, try to drink like 8oz of plain water. You’ll be drunk as a fish and you can still enjoy your depression shakes, but also hydrated so your skin won’t be as shit, your brain won’t be as shriveled, and you’ll smell less bad. So if you want to down a fifth or something stupid, you have to mix it with 135oz of water to drink it. A lot of people’s health problems and age rates are from UV damage, malnourishment, and dehydration, and alcohol is a diuretic.
I know it’s kind of a chicken/egg sitch, but you should do everything you can to chase happiness and know yourself better before you expire. I think you deciding to transition is proof that you’re already doing that and you should believe in yourself rather than berate yourself for somebody else’s malice and choice to steal. I believe in you and know you can do it. Keep going, onwards and upwards.