Don’t lie to me. I know that’s a sloth riding a Himalayan potatodog.

So you mean I have to act like a normal human being? Fuck. I’m too curious and autistic for that. Are you sure there’s not a hat I can wear?

There’s a hat for the opposite of this. This isn’t fair.

(Mostly joking)

Hell yeah, nice. That makes me feel a little better.

As a big, scary-looking dude, I hate going out in public because I know I freak solitary women out. I feel like I should wear a shirt that says “I apologize for being here,” or something. I’m sorry the world is this way. Y’all deserve peace and security.

Is there anything people like me can do to assure those around us that we are not the ones to fear? Like, is there a tattoo I can get or a hat I can wear or something? I wish rapers and miscreants had a distinctive look that us regular folk could avoid.

Of course, I currently look like Harry Henderson with a septum piercing, so I guess probably a shave could help, but I really like my beard. It’s my security blankie :-[

If you’re so aware then how did I get inside of your weighted blanket?

Bread 👍🏻

People named “Grerg”

On a gurney to the hospital after this terrifying ordeal, I hope

If this happens to you while changing your oil, I think you may actually be cooking meth

Are you celebrating the punishment?

I just realized you meant “if you haven’t seen the Reeve version, go watch it,” and not “if you’ve never seen Superman, start with the Reeve version”

🤦‍♂️

Even if you have seen it. I recently watched Superman: The Movie (1978), and found it SO much more enjoyable. Reeve does an amazing job.

Ha ha ha, whoosh! Right guise?

Wrong comment, but at the same time you’re right.

Compared to this? Yeah, it does.

Compensation may be a little better, but the job itself is a bag of dicks

A mirror. Or… Myself?

What? But I just saw a nice comic about a scorpion and a frog that were friends.

*used to have

I feel like I need a psychiatrist

If my grandmother had wheels, she’d be a bicycle