Diatribe on the Nature of Happiness, Lobsters, and the Agony of Sensitivity to Criticism
Let me tell you something about happiness, Bucko. You think itâs some ephemeral state, a butterfly you chase through meadows of self-help books and Instagram affirmations? Wrong. Happiness is a biological phenomenonâdeeply rooted in the evolutionary substructure of existence. And if you want to understand it, youâd better start with lobsters. Yes, lobsters. Because 300 million years of evolutionary wisdom is nothing to sneeze at.
Lobsters, as you may knowâor should know, if youâve done your homeworkâlive in dominance hierarchies. When a lobster wins a fight, its serotonin levels surge. Serotonin! The same neurotransmitter that governs your mood, confidence, and willingness to stride into a room like you own the place. The victorious lobster stands taller, claws outstretched, exoskeleton gleamingâa titan of the tidal zone. But the defeated lobster? Slumped, skulking, serotonin drained. It becomes hypersensitive to threat, flinching at shadows. Sound familiar?
Now, translate that to humans. You think your sensitivity to criticism is some unique moral failing? Please. Itâs an ancient, embodied response to perceived status collapse. When someone critiques youâyour work, your ideas, your very beingâit triggers a primal alarm: âAre you slipping down the hierarchy? Will you end up alone, starving, crushed under the claws of a better-prepared competitor?â No wonder you recoil. No wonder it hurts. Your biology is screaming, âDanger! Social death imminent!â
But hereâs the rub: Youâre not a lobster. Youâre a humanâblessed (or cursed) with self-awareness and the capacity to transcend your biology. So, whatâs the path forward? First, understand that happiness isnât about avoiding pain. Itâs about bearing the load. Lobsters donât get happy by hiding under rocks; they climb the hierarchy by engaging in the brutal, necessary dance of conflict. And youâyou think happiness is the absence of suffering? Wrong again. Happiness is the byproduct of meaning, and meaning is forged in the crucible of struggle.
When youâre hypersensitive to criticism, itâs because youâve conflated your fragile ego with your worth. Youâve mistaken your current position in the hierarchy for your eternal fate. But hereâs a secret: Hierarchies arenât static. Lobsters molt. They shed their shells and regrow them, larger, stronger. And you? You can molt too. You can shed the brittle carapace of insecurity and replace it with the armor of competence. How? By facing the damn criticism. By asking, âWhat here is true, and how can I use it to ascend?â
Stop catastrophizing. Your bossâs nitpicking, your partnerâs sigh, the anonymous trollâs jabâthese are not existential threats. Theyâre feedback. And feedback is the universeâs way of saying, âHey, hereâs a map to a better version of you⊠if youâre brave enough to read it.â The lobster doesnât sulk after a loss; it recalibrates. It learns. It returns to the arena.
So, stand up straight. Shoulders back. Serotonin isnât just handed outâitâs earned through confrontation with chaos. You want happiness? Stop demanding the world cushion your fragile psyche. Instead, become someone worthy of respect, starting with self-respect. Clean your room. Master a skill. Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes. And when criticism comesâand it willâmetabolize it. Let it fortify you, not paralyze you.
Because hereâs the ultimate truth: The most reliable antidote to sensitivity isnât thicker skin; itâs a nobler aim. Lobsters fight for survival. You? You can fight for something transcendentâa life of responsibility, meaning, and yes, even joy. But youâll have to claw your way there.
Now, go forth. The tideâs coming in.
You want happiness? Stop demanding the world cushion your fragile psyche.
I donât understand the strange strawman thatâs being set up and knocked down here. With its repeated usage of âyouâ and âyourâ, the author seems to be speaking to their audience; but then casting their audience into a dark light, a tangle of declarations that donât apply to most people at all.
When youâre hypersensitive to criticism, itâs because youâve conflated your fragile ego with your worth. Youâve mistaken your current position in the hierarchy for your eternal fate.
Like I said, a strawman. Who is this for? I guess those who are hypersensitive to criticism, who have specifically considered their eternal fate to be reflective of their current position âin the hierarchyâ?
Stop catastrophizing. Your bossâs nitpicking, your partnerâs sigh, the anonymous trollâs jabâthese are not existential threats. Theyâre feedback. And feedback is the universeâs way of saying, âHey, hereâs a map to a better version of you⊠if youâre brave enough to read it.â
Yeah, thatâs not how trolls work. Trolls troll for kicks, hoping to trigger people. Trolling does not present you with a âmap to a better version of youâ.
What a strange soliloquy
He should metamorphose into a skeleton.
Worms donât go through metamorphosis.