cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/36418433
With surveys reporting that an increasing number of young men are subscribing to these beliefs, the number of women finding that their partners share the misogynistic views espoused by the likes of Andrew Tate is also on the rise. Research from anti-fascism organisation Hope Not Hate, which polled about 2,000 people across the UK aged 16 to 24, discovered that 41% of young men support Tate versus just 12% of young women.
“Numbers are growing, with wives worried about their husbands and partners becoming radicalised,” says Nigel Bromage, a reformed neo-Nazi who is now the director of Exit Hate Trust, a charity that helps people who want to leave the far right.
“Wives or partners become really worried about the impact on their family, especially those with young children, as they fear they will be influenced by extremism and racism.”
I know this seems like an unserious response, but it is, and it’s one of the main points of the Barbie movie: you need to learn, perhaps accept, to be enough for yourself.
Ken was looking for validation from Barbie, but when she didn’t, he became angry and all. But the message at the end is right: people should not look to other people for validation. Why? Because you are enough. You don’t need someone else to tell you that. You can tell yourself that. All people are flawed in some way, so what’s it matter what someone else thinks? They’re no better than your to judge you.
And the truth is, the other way is off-putting. I don’t want to be with a person who isn’t enough for themself. If they’re not enough for themself, how can they be good enough for me? I don’t want someone who wants or needs me to be responsible for their emotional management. I want a whole person who is secure in themselves.
One of the problems in society, I think, is the idea that people need to pair up. Women, as a whole, have learned much more quickly than men that romantic relationships may be nice, but they are not essential. We (and maybe our cats) are enough for ourselves. I don’t know how to get men on that same page, too.
I really appreciate that perspective. I’ve heard similar concepts, but I’ve never really heard it quite that eloquently or explored. I think my main issue is just that I don’t see a point. It’s not that I am particularly unhappy with myself beyond this “something” that I’ve convinced myself I must have. In fact I’m reasonably proud of who I’ve become, and reasonably shameful at what continued failings I do have. I’m fully capable of doing everything a normal person would do, I just get little to no fulfilment from doing most of my hobbies without a partner. I’m fine with living by myself but if it were that way forever, i’d prefer to just die now. A life devoid of anyone to share it with just seems like an empty life.
I think this might be the crux of the issue though, is that I don’t know how to get rid of this sense that I’ve before been told is desperation. Like, am I supposed to just not want a relationship? Is that what it takes to get my goal, to give up on it? That’s pretty much where I’m at… but it’s more unfulfilling than ever. I try to just be myself, it’s not like im harassing people. In fact, I have a suspicion that I’m coming off disinterested in women in person because im scared of coming off as overly interested. I don’t know what level of interest is expected of me and there’s no manual. I try to put myself in others shoes and see what I’d want, and I’d desperately love it if someone my age were to approach me in pretty much any manner, but I understand that there’s a gender and cultural dynamic at play here thats seemingly impossible to fully grasp as a male. I also can’t even imagine what social cues could indicate the difference between polite interest and genuine interest. When people compliment me, i generally compliment them back. Should I pursue further personal interaction? I’m having difficulty focusing right now but ill probably return to this later