(in the style of AVGN’s YKWBS series)

You know what’s BULLLLLLLSHIT? Those tiny-ass door locks that you have to push to lock the door. Who designed these? They are seriously the worst fucking door locking mechanism I have ever seen in my entire life. You know how on most doors, especially bathroom doors, where they have dials that you turn to lock and unlock the door? Super convenient and easy to use. But those fucking tiny lock buttons you have to push are the complete opposite. These things are so poorly and horribly designed. They malfunction so fucking easily! They are these tiny little buttons right next to the doorknob that you, you guessed it, push to lock the door, and you have to turn the doorknob for the lock to be disengaged. These things are so prone to issues, it’s unreal! Sometimes, the goddamn lock refuses to deactivate after the doorknob is turned and actually gets jammed! So, you’ll have to fight with getting the fucker freed so the door can be properly used from the outside. But wait, that’s not all. Imagine if you lock the door with one of these things to go to the bathroom. I mean, no one wants to see you do your business! So, it would be logical to lock the door. And then, when you are done, you get out, and you shut the door behind you, thinking nothing of it, but behind your back, guess what? The fucking lock is still active! And you didn’t even notice it. And then, when you try to open the door again, you can’t! Congratulations, idiot! You just locked yourself out of the bathroom. And now, since you have no way of getting into the bathroom because of the shitty lock still being primed, your only hope? Pry open the door with elbow grease using random things from your home. No one wants to do this shit! It’s much extra work! Especially when you gotta go really bad! You can’t just afford to shit yourself, you gotta go take care of yourself! But the damn lock won’t fucking budge, no matter how hard you try and get the door loose! You try everything; screwdrivers, your whole body, pens, pencils, scissors, and everything else. No. Dice. The door won’t move a fucking inch. And then, you finally get in after like 30 or so minutes, and realize the goddamn lock was still turned on! How were you even supposed to know that? I’ve had this bullshit happen twice to me already with the bathroom door in my living room. Twice. Both times I had to pry the damn door open. The first time, I had to use a flyswatter, and the second? A god. Damn. Backscratcher. Yes! I am NOT kidding! I had to use a fucking BACKSCRATCHER to pry open a goddamn DOOR that wouldn’t budge! And it’s all because of this fucker. How are these things even allowed to be sold, let alone produced? They are so prone to getting stuck and jammed that there’s gonna be a shit-ton of incidents like this one! Why can’t all doors just have a goddamn dial lock like every other door out there? It’s such a laughably bad excuse of a door locking mechanism. It works fine except when it doesn’t want to. I can’t even fathom how often people have locked themselves out of their bathrooms, their rooms, or even their entire fucking homes due to these bastards. This is such garbage-ass design! These fucking things should be OUTLAWED! And you know the little “clink” sound that the lock makes after its been deactivated? Well, when it gets jammed, it makes no such noise. But, you don’t really think anything about it and shut the door when you’re out, and you end up unintentionally locking yourself out because of shitty-ass architecture! It doesn’t help that the doorknob on the outside can’t be moved for shit when the lock is active. So, if you lock yourself out due to one of these, you gotta pry the damn thing open to get back in. Those tiny buttons just feel so fucking cheaply made. I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised with how often they malfunction! It’s just a simple-ass door lock and it ends up fucking people over and causing them undue stress and loss of time for no reason. These things piss me the fuck off. Why did anyone think these door locks were a good idea? They’re not! Not even close! They all too often stop working correctly and require unjamming. I mean, what the fuck? These things need to be just flat-out banned across the entire goddamn country. Yeah, imagine if your fucking car had one of these! You’d be fucked! You wouldn’t even be able to get in your vehicle to drive. You wouldn’t be able to go to work, get gas, get groceries, anything! You’d be stuck with a fucking door that takes an eternity to get open if you have the strength and patience. But if not? Boom! Probably fired from your job. “Yeah, my car door is jammed!” “No excuses, fired”.

These tiny-ass door lock buttons existing is proof that we’ve failed as a society. And THAT… is BULLSHIT.