https://www.newsweek.com/married-women-stopped-voting-save-act-2029325

womens sufferage sucks

women suffer so much because of too much responsibility so maybe we shouldnt give them any and just give them a small monthly allowance of $5000 thats one idea lets talk about some more

husbands votes could just count as 2

although my wife was reading over my shoulder and hit me just now over that idea so maybe not lets move on okay

promise youre not pmsing

we have to know whether people are serious or not so there could be a check box for whether youre pmsing and if you are then your vote doesnt count and everyone knows pmsers physically cant lie because
1) their dopamine is too low to get a reward from it and
2) the low serotonin production reduces risktaking behaviors
however the associated drop in acetylcholine is associated with reduced inhibitory control so maybe everyone should be given an acetylcholine shot before voting

the typical female brain is a delicate flower

voting is too taxing for a brain that hasnt been made rigid and overflowing with juices by a hefty amount of testosterone and everyone knows taxes are bad so we should make work and voting optional for people with delicate estrogenbased brains and mandatory for everyone else and borrow a little bit of money from every man in the country to give them a monthly stipend to keep them from trying to vote but if they vote they lose their stipend or maybe they can elect to get punched instead but keep the stipend idk im still working out the details

  • pivot_root@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    7 hours ago

    Adding to your satirical list:

    Legislate American Births Into Action

    We want to thank you for your service to our country, and what better way to do that than help with those big blue balls of yours? With the LABIA act, we intend to extend the jurisdiction of the Baker Act from Florida to our great nation as a whole, and expand the scope to include feminism as a qualifier. If your woman is neglecting her duties given by God, let us know.

    Make Equality Towards Household Participation In Prospective Elections

    As parents ourselves, we understand the struggle of being misunderstood and demonized by the liberal agenda. You come home every day from work and put tremendous effort towards raising the next generation of outstanding American patriots. How is it fair that the pre-trans boys and girls calling themselves “childfree” and destroying the only thing that made them men and women are allowed to have the same demographic representation as you, the hardworking family man with 12 kids from 3 different women? It’s not. With this act, for each child, the head of the household is granted an additional vote each election. To counteract the threat of the Woke Mind Virus, this vote shall continue to be awarded past the childrens’ age of majority.

    This was entirely /satire, and I hope that part was obvious.