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If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.
So much work to do, trying to find a way to move to a safer state - not sure I will have enough time, coming up with all the various contingency plans creates stress. The news reminds me of how urgent this is, I am running out of time.
I managed to mail the forms to update my birth certificate. I wonder how long I will have to wait for the updated document. The county clerk told me they wouldn’t update the sex marker on my marriage certificate, but I have the notarized letters they require for updating the name. Still waiting for them to figure out what proof I have to provide for a sex change. They seem bewildered by the request and unmotivated to follow up when the people they have reached out to for guidance haven’t responded. It’s the kind of case where the discrimination is obvious, the sex marker is an optional part of the form and I don’t see any legal motivation for wringing hands about whether I can change it. They have refused to accept the updated sex marker on legal IDs like a passport.
Moving also means having to start over with my progress towards vaginoplasty, starting with finding a new surgeon and potentially having to travel much further for those appointments (currently about 2.5 hours drive away, but I am worried about having to fly or drive all day to get to a good surgeon - oh well, lots of people are in this position with me).
Spent the weekend doing construction repairs to fix water damage in preparation of moving. We were ghosted by renovation companies and have taken on the work ourselves. To be fair, I make it harder on myself by not owning any electric saws, so I am rip cutting flooring with a handsaw, which is exhausting and tedious. Still, I don’t want to buy a table saw and I ran out of time to go through the logistics of renting one. My whole body hurts. The work gives me a sense of control and autonomy, makes me feel one step closer to being ready to leave. So much work to do.