To this day I’d still say muscle building is the bulk of my subconscious motivation to hit the gym. My Physio appreciates the commitment because I need to take care of my knees, but it hits home that I’ve been worried about being lean and muscular since a pre teen.

I vividly remember one judo class when I was sparring with one of the few girls in class, and while we were the same size, she was more experienced (two belts up). Mid spar, she commented how strong my grip and distance control was, proceeded to flap open my kimono, the commented “you still do need to turn it up in the gym though”. ding ding ding new core memory just formed lmao

I think that was the first time my body was so openly judged to my face, and it was pretty much about the looks since we just stablished that the strength was there