If the message is a long and important one, I sometimes postpone replying to when I have a bit of free time and in a calm environment to collect my thoughts and write a good reply.
Then I proceed to forget about the long and important message for 16 hours and write a half assed reply because “fuck I should’ve said something 15 hours ago, now they hate me fuck fuck fuck”.
I have learned, that in those circumstances a simple “wow this is a long text, I don’t have the time right now to give it the proper thought. Let me get back to you when things calm down”
Or simply, “sorry busy right now, let me get back to you later”
This way, you acknowledge the message but also give yourself breathing room.
I enable read receipts on my phone for this very reason. I know that as soon as I click it to read it, they will know and I will need to reply. If I’m not in a good head space (or just busy), then I defer. It keeps me accountable and makes sure I don’t ghost those I care about (accidentally of course).
If the message is a long and important one, I sometimes postpone replying to when I have a bit of free time and in a calm environment to collect my thoughts and write a good reply.
Then I proceed to forget about the long and important message for 16 hours and write a half assed reply because “fuck I should’ve said something 15 hours ago, now they hate me fuck fuck fuck”.
I have learned, that in those circumstances a simple “wow this is a long text, I don’t have the time right now to give it the proper thought. Let me get back to you when things calm down”
Or simply, “sorry busy right now, let me get back to you later”
This way, you acknowledge the message but also give yourself breathing room.
Idk about iOS but android has a snooze notification feature which really helps.
I enable read receipts on my phone for this very reason. I know that as soon as I click it to read it, they will know and I will need to reply. If I’m not in a good head space (or just busy), then I defer. It keeps me accountable and makes sure I don’t ghost those I care about (accidentally of course).