Any other folks here who are physically transitioning have a constant level of low level of horniness that is unresolveable because there’s no real relief any more due to nothing working in regards to that, not even with others?
Any other folks here who are physically transitioning have a constant level of low level of horniness that is unresolveable because there’s no real relief any more due to nothing working in regards to that, not even with others?
How does it compare to pre-HRT?
We’re kind of an odd case, maybe? We aren’t sure but we didn’t really enjoy sex or masturbation before HRT either, partially due to demisexuality, partially due to expectations and gender roles, partially because we didn’t really know what we liked and to some degree we still don’t. We also either never had orgasms or considered them pretty bad: “this is it?!”
We are less and less interested in ‘content’: porn, erotica etc (though whether we ever really were interested or not is debatable). Our fantasies have shifted though whether this is because we’re interested in softer things now or what we’ve always wanted and only now admitted it to ourselves, we aren’t sure.
We cried from being unable to do anything about it the other week and how much connection we need before we could even consider doing something so intimate with someone else, so there’s probably also some emotional effects from hormones going on.
We also get anxiety and dysphoria from wanting things but not being able to get them met and from having the genitals we have, but they were probably both there to some degree before HRT too, might be stronger now, we don’t know.
However, if you just mean the physical effects well, we don’t ejaculate any more (at least not when doing things to ourselves, or perhaps from physical touch alone), we get hot sometimes when we ‘finish’ though ‘finishing’ is hard to reach most of the time. We didn’t really experience random erections much before HRT and definitely don’t now, so yeah. We don’t really know what an orgasm would be like or if we’ll ever get there but we might one day, if not well, either we’ll have to shift what we want or just somehow be okay with never having them again or accept they were and always will be shit.
Anything else you’d like to know?
Well, your OP was about how resolvable your libido is now on HRT, but you didn’t really talk much about how resolvable it was before or what you think accounts for the difference.
Reading between the lines, it sounds like there are many barriers in place that complicate sex for you, and maybe as you have transitioned there has been a shifting nature to the libido that makes it harder to satisfy.
Where before maybe libido was more visual, impulsive, and dissociated from the rest of you and your needs, maybe the HRT has shifted the nature of the libido, from mere craving for sex in isolation to something more like desire for intimacy with all the emotional needs associated with it.
This shift in desire might lead to increased feelings of loneliness, and increased desire for a sexual partner more than pre-HRT. That shifting desire might then create much more distress because of how inaccessible the fulfillment of those needs feels to you, not just because of bodily dysphoria and the inability to embody the kind of sexual person you would want to be with someone else, but also because the libido is now more connected to you and your feelings than the were pre-HRT, so maybe it’s harder to be as indifferent or detached.
This is all highly speculative, though - I don’t really know you, I’m just trying to make sense of what you have told me.
We appreciate such a detailed reply.
We will respond more fully soon.