This leaked today from inside webmd, the most bullshit corpo HR video I think I’ve ever seen.
To break down the obvious ones:
- Employees who are obviously either drinking wayyy too much company koolaid or who know that their jobs will end if they aren’t in this video
- An extremely out of touch CEO who wants things back the old way without giving any concrete data proving that it’s better beyond conjecture
- A company with “internet” in the name who literally doesn’t understand the concept of the internet
- Threatening and bullying language to force people back in office.
- and just a nice touch, the office is of course not near mass transit or anything and requires driving in
- Did anyone notice they were all on green screen, kinda proving that there was no need for them to be in person?
Of the office is so good, why did they green screen it instead of actually going there?
That’s what I just noticed too! Did noone think people would notice that none of the people were actually physically there?!
Phoning it in for the video telling people they must physically go. Typical corporate bullshit.
Yup! If it’s that important, why doesn’t your company pay for everyone to drive to and from work (covering gas, car repairs, and allowing employees to clock in when they start their commute.)Also, pay for everyone’s lunch since they have to be there.
WebMD, the site that gives a diagnosis of ‘cancer’ for everything.
Your comment gave me cancer.
I was coughing and had a little congestion. Now I’m getting chemo, thanks WebMD!
well? did i solve the congestion? /s
My nose fell off, it was great!
Thanks, nose cancer!
Hi hi!
in 2021 my job was “informing, not asking”. a bunch of us walked, and it crippled the OU. They actually shut it down not long ago, they decided to keep a skeleton crew on to keep the app running while the contracts run out, then they’re gonna sunset it
lmao gg. The absolute disrespect to even say “informing, not asking” unironically. Pretty sure these people see us as slaves at some level.
Honestly, if they said only that part in a memo, it would still obviously be very bad but it would be so much better than embedding it within this video. If I were an employee watching this, when they reached the part where they play Iko Iko while people dance after the CEO delivered the ultimatum, I’d want to shoot myself in the fucking head.
Slaves don’t get paid
Ah looks like you’re not familiar with history then
Are you unfamiliar with the concept of wage slaves?
Of course, you have freedom of choice. You can choose between eating a shit sandwich or a tube of tile grout compound.
They won’t admit it of course, but to save on raw material costs, since 2011 the tile grout has been actually harvested from truck stop restrooms.
Plenty of slaves received wages throughout plenty of historical periods. Read a book.
Close-quartered offices are disease farms. Stress lowers your immune system.
WebMD wants to make its workers unhealthy.
That tracks. WebMD is a terrible source of medical information.
I remember using it long ago and no matter what your symptoms were you most likely have cancer.
Apparently the cancer is coming from inside the building!
Yes they are. As I am at home with COVID for the 4th time. I interviewed a guy in a small room a week ago Friday, and he coughed all through the interview. I was masked. He wasn’t. Two of us caught it. And I found out today they hired the clown. There are strong desires to cuss him out on his first day. Fuck that guy.
This will definitely push all accounting, data entry and other such office workers to the heights of creativity and inventiveness - just what they need! /s
If they get to stay home then why can’t I?!?
That’s really it’s about.
The only people that should be in the office are people who literally need to be there.
Like if there are physical servers and they need to be physically configured then sure the tech can go in for that.
If it’s a repair show, then sure the tech has to come in to do the repair.
Otherwise let people stay home.
I’ve hypothesized that they want people in person so that the things they won’t say over a network can be said in person.
They do it because they invested in the property and want to make it worth their while. Now they can enforce some stupid productivity policies while you are there.
You’re forgetting the part where they can shift the blame of the company is tanking as the fault of " lazy workers who won’t RTO" instead of their terrible management, to convince shareholders not to get rid of them
Or, “we’re raking in record profits but we need to make the line go SLIGHTLY more up for the shareholders, so we’re telling you to RTO in the hopes that enough of you will leave so we don’t have to do layoffs”. Layoffs look bad to shareholders, but masses of people quitting? Meh, it happens now.
Same with the ‘getting better ideas in person’ bit. He means he can’t take credit for others’ work if everything is documented.
Oh I emphatically agree - I have a fully remote job and not even doubling my salary would make me consider switching to an office one. I was just clumsily trying to point out that a lot of corporate positions don’t require all that creativity and collaboration bullshit that clueless executives love to throw around in videos like this one.
I have a fully remote job and not even doubling my salary would make me consider switching to an office one.
The funny thing is that if the corporate masters every figured out that they could retain employees who were tempted by higher salaries just by keeping them comfortable, they still wouldn’t do it.
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this seems like a tactic so people quit instead of having to do layoffs.
Bingo.
So what’s the strat here? Stay employed but do not go to office until you are lid off and then lawyer up?
Edit: spelling
That will depend on state employment laws and the contracts they have.
So who knows, here in Europe in my country if you are an employee then the employer determines where you work from, contractors are independent they can work from where they want.
Kind of balsy for a software company that is basically running a web page to replace office visits with a doctor…
The most surprising thing I learned from this video is that WebMD still exists
The best thing to happen from WebMD is we got a bunch of actual medical providers like Mayo Clinic, University of Maryland, Merck Manual that went, “GAH! No!!” and made actually informative, updated medical websites.
Healthline, kids. Healthline is where we go for our medical information.
Surprisingly stubby Wiki! “Reception” section pretty weak. Surprised they haven’t fleshed their page out. Why do you trust them?
Because I think quality of presentation is not being factored into the assessments you’re seeing on that wiki.
I tend to recommend Healthline to the public because it clearly targets a lay audience, and chooses to meet that audience where they live. It’s written the way I talk to my patients, and the information is accurate and accessibly easier to read.
Just look at the difference between the pages on hypertension from Healthline and MedlinePlus:
https://www.healthline.com/health/high-blood-pressure-hypertension
https://medlineplus.gov/highbloodpressure.html
The details and accuracy of the information is not different. But the way Healthline presents it is so much more accessible.
Thanks :-)
Glad to know the marketing company who owns them (and Bankrate, I see) is doing a good job!
I’m surprised it’s an actual business with employees, and not some fat dude in his basement.
A fat dude in his basement would be more helpful than WebMD
Would be a real shame if the 1% gets fucked on properties that nobody in their right mind will work in.
Everyone is so desperate to kill their workers, and then they’ll say, “Nobody wants to work anymore.”
“informing, not asking”
To any employees out there, don’t be someone else’s biotch.
Demand for workers is at one of its highest points right now.
There are other jobs out there, but you only have one respect for yourself.
(The above is said assuming that the company is not trying to just shed employees. If that is the case, then stay and give them hell. Only you can determine the state of the company you’re working at, financially.)
Time to unionize WebMD. Maybe the union can turn it into a decent website.
Sounds like a whole lotta quittin’ time.
That is the intent of RTO policies, yes. It’s a lot cheaper to compel workers to quit rather than fire them.
Same thing is happening a lot of places. One large american company that I’m not going to mention is doing several rounds of layoffs along with a return to office initiative.
It’s Amazon.
That’s not the one I was talking about, but it doesn’t surprise me.
What if you just pretend you don’t know what RTO is and stay home anyway
That’s literally what a bunch of Amazon employees (engineers and stuff, not like warehouse workers) were doing, and last time I checked it was actually going weirdly well…?
I barely even read my corporate bullshit emails. Unless my actual boss is telling me something, IDGAF.
so strikin’ time then?
I would boycott them, but I never use them anyway
good job, to both of us, for boycotting them early!
“We’ve invested heavily in our cooperate headquarters and if people realize that offices are unnecessary in the modern workplace we’ll lose millions.”
People keep talking about corporate real estate and how companies need ppl in offices or the value would crash. But wouldnt the company stand to benefit in the long run by just biting the bullet on the remainder of their lease, not renew, and go 100% remote? Or at least drastically downsize.
Would that not save millions in overhead, lease payments, etc into the future? Or do they have 30 year lease agreements or something?
They might own the building. They definitely have at least a 10 year lease, that’s standard for commercial lease agreements.
I’m so glad I work for a medium-small company. We moved to a smaller office and only require to go in twice a month
