I came out to my mom in may and until 2.5 weeks ago everything was fine. I had another session with my therapist and before that I told her how my feelings regarding my gender identity intensified and that I seriously started considering DIY HRT (not in that words because she doesn’t know what that means, but that was the point). After that she started to swing really hard in both directions when talking to me about my gender identity. She is doing her best to help me (it’s not very successful because she doesn’t understand what being trans means) but sometimes she tells me how people from LGBT community do really bad stuff. To be fair, in our country there were some situations where someone from from the community who would do something in public they really shouldn’t do, but that’s really small number of people. I told her that only some people are like that and most don’t do things like that but she just tells me that it’s actually opposite. Today she entered my room just to show me how some crossdressers “made fun” of the Last supper (she found it offensive because she is a Christian) and to tell me how bad it is and that that’s what I want to get into. Worst part is that I already told her the first time that I don’t want to participate in public LGBT events and that I just want to live my own life, but she continues to do stuff like this. To me it feels like she sees things like things and is scared that I will be part of that while ingoring what I already told her. And I don’t like the way she talks about that. I’d like to give her some resources so she could learn something about trans people but I couldn’t find anything good on my native language (she doesn’t know any other language). If I just told her that wouldn’t be enough. At this point I’m not sure is she truly accepting or not. What should I do?
Maybe you could ask your therapist if she could come with you for one session? Having a neutral person with you might help getting your points across.
And saying what language she speaks might help others finding some resources for her that she can read.
She is already going with me.
Do you know whether the therapist is trans-affirming or not? Also relevant is what their credentials are. That might make a difference in how those conversations go.
I don’t know what his credentials are but I know that he has some experience with trans people.
Interesting, do you know what those experiences were? Did you choose the therapist, or did your mom? Having some experience with trans people describes a conversion therapist, for example.
I know that he has experience with people who transitioned. My mom picked the therapist.
When I first saw my voice therapist, my endocrinologist, and my psychologist, I asked each of them what experience they had with trans patients, and how they came to work with the trans community.
Before I saw them, I vetted them through organizations and my local trans community first.
I would at least look up your therapist and see what their credentials and associations are. If you have a local trans community you can connect with, see what therapists they recommend, and ask if anyone knows your therapist.
I only emphasize this so much because based on what you have said it seems like a real concern that your mom would want you to see someone who is sympathetic to her concerns. Do you think your mom would have chosen a trans-affirming therapist?
Yes