I just want to vent a bit - I started seeing someone a few weeks ago. Old fling that I ran into through some friends that got rekindled, and I was excited that it seemed like more than just casual hookups this time. But there were some yellow flags I ignored that turned out to be red flags, and now I’m feeling frustrated and hurt.

Dude for real dropped the line that men are more “capable” and “logical” on me. That gender studies are “indoctrination.” I told him we should probably stop seeing each other if that’s really what he thinks. It wouldn’t be logical for me to keep seeing someone that thinks lesser of me, now, would it?

I’m grateful to have some guy friends that I turned to after I left, cuz I wanted to go into “fuck all men” mode, but I know it’s not true or helpful. Just like there are women out there that have internalized misogyny, there’s feminist men, enbies, etc. We’re all just people and we’re not monoliths beholden to differences in biology. This is just sexist, manosphere bullshit in particular

Anyway. I’m still feeling angry and wanted to put it out there for some support and solidarity. Anyone have a recent win they’d like to share or something?

ETA: Thank you so much for the conversation y’all! I’ve been trying to keep up but I gotta get some sleep. I’ll check in later but hope everyone has a good day. Keep up the empowerment! 💜

  • ahal@lemmy.caEnglish
    3·
    11 months ago

    I just want to say that your break up line was just excellent. Chef’s kiss

  • HeartyBeast@kbin.social
    1·
    1 year ago

    I think my response would be “and yet, so many men still fall for shysters like Andrew Tate”.

    Well done on getting out. He sounds like a dad sad case.

  • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.eeMEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    Gender studies as in the kind you learn in college or as in just the research field?

    I have lived this kind of experience many times and would’ve pointed out to him it seems awfully indoctrination-like that he’s so willing to override his memories he shares with you with ethical odds and ends he picked up later. Due to asexuality, this is even amped up for me, as asexuality to the manosphere is like Antarctica to a flat earther, in that it must not exist if the objective does. So I could often go for some of those guy friends.

  • DangerousK@feddit.deEnglish
    0·
    1 year ago

    If it helps anything, I can imagine men usually assume they are as an individual more logical and capable than other men as well. Projecting this on women is just even easier as other man will agree.

    https://xkcd.com/610

    • NABDad@lemmy.worldEnglish
      2·
      11 months ago

      In my experience, the real thought bubble is probably closer to “Look at all these people who have their shit so together. I’m such a loser. I hope they can’t figure out that I’m faking it.”

      Edit to add:

      The people who really are losers (as opposed to just believing they are) put others down to try to build themselves up.

    • Mothra@mander.xyzEnglish
      1·
      1 year ago

      I agree with this thought and it’s precisely men that aren’t smart enough (or narcissistic af) who come up with this idea

        • NABDad@lemmy.worldEnglish
          3·
          11 months ago

          I think you may be interpreting “men” as all men, but I think the post meant, “precisely men that aren’t smart enough (or narcissistic af)”

          That is, the men who say things like this tend to be men that aren’t smart enough or are simply too narcissistic to realize it’s wrong.

          • toothpaste_sandwich@feddit.nlEnglish
            2·
            11 months ago

            I think you’re right! I actually realised this a while after I reread this but I never really bothered to write about the epiphany 😅