• FierroGamer@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    I feel like the idea that women are otherworldly creatures instead of people and seeing someone being nice to their partner as “the man having tamed a female and convinced her to treat him well” has a lot to do with his problem.

    I hate how much that is preserved socially, there’s no good reason why that hasn’t gone away at least a decade or two ago.

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Yes. Being isolated is a result and a cause of strange views of other people.

      It’s a positive feedback loop that one needs to accept massive discomfort — on the part of the re-integrating person and on the part of the normal people they’re re-integrating with — in order to escape.

      Avoidance of disturbing others is a key part of men self isolating.

    • Chaos@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Totally agree. I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years now, and it most definitely didnt involve me trying to tame her 🤣

      It was just luck to meet. We both liked each other. That’s literally it.

    • Maalus@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      It’s learned helplessness. Once they get rejected 15 times in a row for being a weirdo or something similar, they start to think in that instead of either reflecting back on the experience and trying to be better, or looking elsewhere.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        Simply going from zero self improvement to nonzero may not be enough. That’s why we call a situation like this a hole. A person in a hole needs to climb to get to ground level.