I’m not a Christian let alone a Catholic so it sounds like a bit of a tall order for them to pick me but…
Does the pope still have the authority to declare a state to be the Holy Roman Empire? I’d start handing out Jesus powers to random states see what happens.
Eat all the saintly relics to absorb their power, becoming an unkillable super-pope.
There’s, like, enough alleged splinters of the true cross lying around to make at least two man sized crucifixes. I’d keep one around in case Jesus does come back and he turns out to be a bit of a wanker.
Reform Vatican law so that the next pope is chosen via some sorta contest of skill, like a Quake tournament, a rap battle, or a hotdog eating contest.
To catch the attention of a new generation of converts we’re gonna need to build brand recognition. Two Words: Fortnite collaboration.
Order the construction of even larger, goofier looking hat, in order to broadcast my stature as the cool pope.
The bulletproof glass box on the popemobile is not enough, mount a gun emplacement on there instead so I can shoot back.
Construction of some sorta nonce oubliette, thorough investigation of which priests we seal away down there.
I’m not a Christian let alone a Catholic so it sounds like a bit of a tall order for them to pick me but…
Does the pope still have the authority to declare a state to be the Holy Roman Empire? I’d start handing out Jesus powers to random states see what happens.
Eat all the saintly relics to absorb their power, becoming an unkillable super-pope.
There’s, like, enough alleged splinters of the true cross lying around to make at least two man sized crucifixes. I’d keep one around in case Jesus does come back and he turns out to be a bit of a wanker.
Reform Vatican law so that the next pope is chosen via some sorta contest of skill, like a Quake tournament, a rap battle, or a hotdog eating contest.
To catch the attention of a new generation of converts we’re gonna need to build brand recognition. Two Words: Fortnite collaboration.
Order the construction of even larger, goofier looking hat, in order to broadcast my stature as the cool pope.
The bulletproof glass box on the popemobile is not enough, mount a gun emplacement on there instead so I can shoot back.
Construction of some sorta nonce oubliette, thorough investigation of which priests we seal away down there.
Enter the Democratic Holy-Peoples’ Imperial Republic of Rome-Korea
If Moscow can claim to be the third Rome I suppose Pyongyang’s not too far off