It seems like the only logical option. If someone paid me to come up with a solution to having poopy butt I couldn’t come up with a better one than a hose or a bidet. You know what I wouldn’t do? I WOULDN’T INVENT PAPER YOU COULD RUB ON YOUR BUTT.

Like every person that has tried a bidet on the internet describes their experience as being reborn. Anyone that tries it instantly becomes a shill for big bidet. I have not seen a single negative review for a bidet aside from maybe water shooting up your back which is more of a skill issue with aiming.

There is some debate to be had between using a bidet versus using a hose. With bidet there’s no hand contact but you can’t control where the water goes. Im personally more in favor of hose since you still gotta flush and handle the bathroom door so there’s gonna be contact either way, but using water is CLEARLY superior to toilet paper.

Water is cheaper and guess what? IT USES LESS CLEAN WATER THAN MAKING TOILET PAPER. That’s right making a single tissue of TP uses more water than just simply washing your butt. You can also shower less frequently because you don’t constantly smell like shit. We are deforesting jungles just to turn them into butt napkins that do not even clean us properly, they just smear the shit all over the crack and make us smell like poop.

Also without TP there’s no longer an issue with assholes flushing their used TP down the toilet and clogging the pipes, houses will no longer get TP’ed, the pandemic scalping situation wouldn’t have happened etc etc. So why are people still hellbent on using this inferior method?

  • Acute_Engles [he/him, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    6·
    2 days ago

    Yeah i know the bidet is better, maybe when I’m back from out of town work I’ll buy one for the family shitter.

    A bidet, until very recently, had only been presented as a japanese novelty toilet gadget in any media i consumed anyway. This is my guess as to why Westerners don’t use them

    • IHateCabbage420 [he/him]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
      3·
      2 days ago

      A bidet, until very recently, had only been presented as a japanese novelty toilet gadget

      I never understood the luxury Japanese toilet trope in movies and TV. Are the workers in America so exploited as to not be able to afford a piece of plastic that goes over their shitter? Ludicrous.